How a Vegetarian Does Steak

My cousin came to visit today and I busted out my grilled steak.   hmmm.  You’re shocked I cook steak?  Me too. It took me a long time.  Many years of wearing ziploc bags as gloves to handle meat, fish and fowl have gone into what you see before you.  How does it taste?  I dunno.  Either I’ve become a really adept vegetarian who cooks non-veg….or my family will eat anything anyone will give them.  It could go either way.

Here’s how I did it – (note that when I was taking a picture of the ingredients for grilled steak, I forgot the steak.  So later I dug the wrapper out of the garbage and took a picture – I’m sure Martha Stewart went through the same stuff)

You’ll need 3 steaks for this – here’s what I used (my son and I had PB&J fyi)


Get cheap steak, expensive steak, flank, rib eye, sirloin, whatever.  This marinate will turn any little cut into a dreamy thing (your dreams, not my dreams)

Put the steaks in a deep dish to marinate with:

1/2 cup of Worcestershire sauce

2 tablespoons of honey

2 tablespoons of kosher salt (is there any other kind)

4 heaping tablespoons of Montreal Steak mix (thank you Canada)

2 teaspoons of garlic powder (if you have fresh garlic, use it and stop judging me please)

Combine the honey and Worcestershire sauce and set aside.

No matter how grossed out you are – rub the steaks with the salt, steak mix and garlic powder.  All the good cooks of the world  say to “massage” the meat.  I don’t do all that.  My technique is more sprinkling on and cringing while quickly spreading the stuff around.  Imagine a face after sucking on a tart lemon – that’s me.  Semi-disgusted and puckered up (with love ofcourse).

Now dump the ‘shire and honey mixture on top and let sit – for however long you have.  Overnight is ideal, a few hours will work, even 1/2 an hour before cooking does the trick.

It should look like this….

Heat your grill on high – here’s our grill.  Ignore the beer. The original title of this post was supposed to be – Beer really helps a vegetarian cook steak. 

4 minutes on each side for medium rare – sometimes I get nervous and pull it early.  I hear you go to jail for overcooked steak.

There you go!  Simple but effective.  Now go buy all the sides and serve up dinner.