Benign Masochism

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Most Sunday mornings start the same way for me. If we don’t have anywhere to go I wake up to the sounds of CBS Sunday Morning.  It’s usually my husband to my left and Charles Osgood and his bow tie to my right. Cozy.

It’s the perfect show. A little smart. A little silly. Lots of pictures. Perfect. I don’t remember a Sunday without it (or without 60 minutes for that matter).

This morning’s episode featured a Yale psychologist named Paul Bloom talking about a human’s need for pleasure.  Pleasure through all sorts of things. At the end of that segment they talked about people who love spicy foods. So spicy that the experience borders on pain. This need to push pleasure onto the realm of mild pain is called “benign masochism”.

I perked right up. My husband perked right up. You see, he’s been married to a benign masochist for a long time, and now we finally have a name to my disease. I love…no adore…no need super spicy food. If there’s a mild sweat developing while I have my penne arrabiata – awesome. If the name of the food has the word Habanero in it – it’s for me! Do you know how many times my daughter has said,” why? Mom, why?” This is why!

I blame my upbringing. I blame my Indian heritage. I blame….how delicious everything spicy really is.

My family and friends have been so supportive – they’ve always hidden their horror.

They don’t laugh when I order Chinese food (vegetable fried rice, no eggs, no mushrooms, extra spicy).

They didn’t laugh when I, at 6 months pregnant with my son, asked the cafeteria worker in our conservative financial firm to remove the jalapeno decorations during a Mexican themed lunch so I could actually eat them.  I had to.

They love me so much that when we go out for lunch or dinner or even breakfast, they never forget to ask for the crushed red pepper or hot sauce.

I’m surrounded by love. And hot peppers.

 

 

 

 

That Guy.

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Insert Twilight Zone Music….

In 1997, my husband and I took a cruise to Bermuda from New York City, where we lived.

Back then, there was none of this relaxed cruising stuff. You were assigned to a table. And that’s where you sat all week.

Every night, we had the same staff serving us. They were amazing.

This is a picture of one of our waiters, a gentleman from Bangladesh who loved me.

As almost all men from the old country do. Just kiddin’

He took such good care of us. Special veggie dishes. Extra spicy, for me.

Loads of extra shrimp in my husband’s scampi. That kind of thing.

We found out that he lived on the boat 10 months of the year.

Went home to his wife and kids for 2 months and was back at it.

At the end of our week we took this photo, said our goodbyes, and left a nice tip.

Cut to 2006

We were now living in Eastern Pennsylvania with our two kids and a cat

Miles and miles from Bermuda. Or Bangladesh.

I’m in Harrisburg, with my whole family.

We were there celebrating my sister’s bday – at the local Indian restaurant.

Like usual.

Guess who our waiter was.

Guess.

Yes.

I swear.

Really.

He left the cruise job, brought his family to the US, and moved to my hometown. Happened to get a job at my parent’s favorite place to celebrate all things. Happened to be working the night we were there. And happened to be our waiter. Again.

Insert Twilight Zone music again….