The bearded lady wants to give you some advice…

15 Jan 2020 5 Comments

by wifemothereventplanner in I need to tell you about this right now Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I was just going to write this to my daughter, but I’ll share my thoughts broadly – you’re welcome.

Thanks to Ulta, Sephora, and YouTube stars like Jeffree Star (RIP his relationship to Nathan) – we all think we are skin/make-up experts. Believe me, I’m the leader of that group. I’m all about knowing and trying every single product that comes out. I’ve written many many blogs on my love of all things that can smooth, flatten, brighten, tighten, etc. I’m for all of it. I also love getting a good, violent facial. Scrape it, squeeze it, laser it…bring it all on. But I’m really nervous about something that’s been creeping up everywhere.

Dermaplaning. At home. With expensive or cheap tools you can buy online or at a local store near you. The benefits they tout are vast. Remove peach fuzz and have more radiant, glowing skin! Make-up goes on easier and lasts longer! Skin feels and looks smoother and softer! Sounds like a revelation. But it’s not. It’s shaving your face. Just plain old shaving your whole face. The razors look different than the ones we use on our legs, but the concept is the same.

Listen ladies, I get it. I’m hairy too. If you saw me with my natural eyebrows and upper lip, it wouldn’t be pretty. I mean I was a junior in high school before I detached my unibrow. As a mom, I was ahead of the pack letting my daughter know we could wax, shave, peel anything she wanted whenever she was ready. I think that was in 4th grade. Believe me, I get it. And, if I’m honest, I’ve had days where I didn’t have time to go get a quick wax when I reached for my razor and took care of my upper lip issues. There’s no shame in that game. You do what you need to.

But this idea of shaving your face …no no no. Just don’t do it. Remember when they told us that pencil thin eyebrows were cool? Or that fat free bread would help us lose weight? All lies. Don’t buy into it!

Your peach fuzz is fine, leave it alone. Your uni-brow and mustache are not, take care of that now. Please people. Let’s go back to our face masks and charcoal treatments and put the face razors down. I love you.

Does it burn?

12 Jan 2019 Leave a comment

by wifemothereventplanner in I need to tell you about this right now Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

I like skincare products the way people like their pets. I’m OBSESSED. And I like them all. I don’t discriminate. Drug store cheapie? Sounds good to me. Expensive beauty product of the moment? Come to mama. I’ll bring them all home. Nurture and love them.

Face masks are all the rage… but I’ve been doing masks since 8th grade. When I discovered that a good layer of Calamine lotion dries on your face and can be lifted off like a mask. I don’t remember what led me to that discovery. Probably a slow tv night.

I get facials at least once a month – which sounds high maintenance but I balance it out by sometimes buying clothes at Costco (shhhhhhhh).

As I’ve written before in my other post (Product Ho), I have no loyalty to products or places of beauty. I’ll go anywhere. And I’ll drop a facialist (that’s a word right? Spellcheck is saying no, but it’s a word) quickly if she tells me I have to be more delicate with my skin. Delicate?? Nope. Sorry. My favorite question when buying most face products is,” does it burn?”.

Most people ask that to confirm that it won’t burn. I am asking with gleeful excitement hoping a layer of skin comes off with use.

That said – none of the stuff I’m using right now is that harsh. The retinol wipes are a bit…chemically… but in a good way.

Here’s what my nighttime/daytime routine looks like. This is what I’m doing while you’re at the gym, or cleaning your homes, or making the world better…

This stuff is awesome! I told you I have to wear make-up now to save my marriage right? So making sure every bit of my Tammy Faye Bakker mascara comes off before I go to bed is essential. This stuff looks and feels like Vaseline going on – but once it touches water it completely changes and dissolves. Taking Tammy right down the drain where she belongs. RIP.

I’ve tried every face scrub on the planet. Kate Somerville makes a $69 one that does the exact same thing this does. Trust me. I started using this the same time I experimented with the Calamine lotion face masks. It’s harsh. It’s drying. Put your big girl pants on and use it.

Kiehl’s has been my moisturizer since my baby girl was born. We lived on the Upper East Side in New York City, home of their original store. I was having a tough time postpartum and needed a pick-me-up. My husband surprised me with a giant bottle of their ultra moisturizer. It’s been what I’ve used every night ever since. I know it’s a bit too oily for some folks – and it does go on like a brick house, but I love it.

Cut to this year – coming back from a work trip with some co-workers and wandering the airport (Dublin airport? Delhi airport?), we found this. It’s like a little bottle of sunshine. For those days when I’m not trying to save my marriage and I don’t wear make-up, I wear this.

I don’t know if I believe in eye cream. But of course I use it every night because of 2 reasons, 1) I’m a slave to marketing and 2) I will fold like a cheap suit when a salesperson tells me a product is great. Why wouldn’t I trust a perfect stranger whose job is to gain commission off what she sells me? Duh. It’s a no-brainer.

Ohhhhh these burn. They burn so good. Ignore your eyes watering. It’ll be fine.

I snuck this in even though it’s not the same genre as the other products because it’s so good! It basically shellacs my face after I put my gobs of make-up on. It’s like laminating yourself for the day. In the words of Ina Garten, “how bad could that be?”.

Thanks for letting me share. What are you using? I need to know. I need to judge. Xoxo

This Mother

11 May 2014 Leave a comment

by wifemothereventplanner in I need to tell you about this right now Tags: , , , , ,

I hope all you moms out there had a great day. I did the following:

Cards and cuddles in bed.
Ate a Sunday breakfast that I didn’t make or go get.
Spent 3 hours making photo prints from the last 10 months.
Spent another 2 hours trying to find a proper photo album (it can’t have “memo” space and I prefer a large, square one that holds both vertical and horizontal pics). No luck. But I had fun trying.
Then came the real fun.
Hair up, pjs on.
A nose strip.
A clay mask.
A steaming hot wash.
A 15 minute derma scrub
A cold compress.
Good times.
Some people like to get tulips and cards. I like to get time to exfoliate.
(And I like tulips and cards)

Happy Mother’s Day!

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Product Ho

25 Aug 2013 5 Comments

by wifemothereventplanner in I need to tell you about this right now Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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Unlike my marriage and in my friendships. I’m bored with my beauty products quickly. I’m fickle. Unfaithful. I need change. I need excitement. I need to blow some money at Sephora – it makes me feel alive.

  • I’m always on the hunt for a good, peel-the-gook-out-your-face mask. And clay is all the rage right now. After reading all 2,113 reviews on Amazon, I decided it was the one for me. And I was right. It’s dries to a crisp and makes me feel squeaky clean. Try it. Or don’t.
  • Clinique has always made the best moisturizers – although they are boring as hell. This one is no different. It goes on like butta, soaks in quickly and disappears. After a summer full of coconut and lime and almond smelling products, it’s nice to put something on that smells like nothing.
  • One more from Clinique. This one is an oldie. But I’ve been too busy wearing a dark, chocolate stain and didn’t know everyone was addicted to this. This is an almost gloss/almost lipstick combo in their most “wearable” shade – Black Honey. When you see it in the tube, you’ll be horrified. It’s as dark and deep as a raisin, but it goes on sheer and light.  Some gloss is a little too…..glossy. Ya know? Not this. This is a little bit of sheen and color that doesn’t make me feel like Krystal Carrington (anyone? anyone?).
  • Now this last bottle is a little controversial. Many of my gal pals have voiced their confusion and anger about applying a straight on oil to their skin. This particular one by Josie Maran is oil for your face, hair and skin. An all over oil.  I bought the light version because the regular was out of stock and I needed it asap. Like an addict. It was worth it. Is it great for your nice, cotton pillow cases? Not so much. But you’ll be glowing in the morning.

So these are my new boyfriends. My new mistresses. My new loves. They’ll be doing the walk of shame come October but I love them today.

*GIVEAWAY* WINNER ANNOUNCED!!

15 Feb 2013 6 Comments

by wifemothereventplanner in I need to tell you about this right now Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

 

 

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DRUM ROLL PLEASE!! The winner is….

 

http://onthehomefrontandbeyond.wordpress.com

 

Whoo hoo!!  Go check out her awesome blog too. Congrats!

 

 

 

Leaving on a Jet Blue Plane….

14 May 2012 7 Comments

by wifemothereventplanner in Yes, I'm an event planner Tags: , , , , , , , ,

It’s crack o’ dawn here – and I have exactly 4.5 minutes to get this post done (although hours of love went into the thought, I promise you).

This week we’ve got 2 big events  – one in Beantown (Boston) and one in Lala land (Los Angeles).

If you told me you were traveling – I’d ask you where you were going and why and blah blah blah.  What I’d really want to know is….what did you pack?

Are you a devil-may-care, take just the essentials kinda person?

Or are you a when-i-lift-off-all-the-drugstores-in-the-world-will-disappear type?

I’m in between.  I never worry about packing the right clothes. I tend to under pack.  One pre-post event uniform (you know, black top/denim bottom).  One event suit (black!).  If there are multiple events, multiply the amounts.  Done.  One pair of shoes packed – only – ever.

Where I do go a bit bananas is the lotions and potions.

See below – I’ll explain:

  

  

 

  • Shea butter – I have horribly dry desert skin (I almost wrote dessert skin, which would have also been true). Aside from the usual upkeep essentials (toothbrush, contact solution, etc.), I need my shea.
  • Facial product:  the multi delivery peels are essential.  After an event, you’re amped, sometimes bloated and always exhausted.  These babies make you look like a human the next day. ROC wrinkle cream hidden in a moisturizer, ’cause I’m old man. Real old.
  • The 5 minute mask – ridiculous.  Get it. Now.
  • The Neutrogena scrubber thingie – the best.  I know a ton of people are buying that Clarisonic one, but I like this one.  You know why?  It’s $20.  It’s not $100.
  • Biosilk hair oil.  Sigh.  It’s that small, clear bottle to the left of my Chanel bronzer.  I’ll be writing a whole love letter/post on Biosilk soon.
  • Chanel bronzer:  I am not a product snob.  I am open to it all! I think I’ve told you how I heart St. Ives.  But this stuff. This is beautiful.  Just the right touch of color and somethin’.  I don’t know what – but it gives me some definition in an otherwise sea of fat cheek.
  • Recent obbession that I hope to never kick – Lolla body products.  This is the perfume.  Lavender/Honey.  Dreamy.
  • It all gets packed in my small, neon green bag.  You know how I love to wear black?  Well my luggage is not allowed to wear black, or brown, or blue.  When you’re standing at the baggage carosel of life, waiting for the 54th black bag to come off the plane while frantic people who don’t travel grab at every one, you quickly realize one thing.  Get a bright, obnoxious bag that others will poo poo.  Trust me, no one ever grabs for that little bag.

Ok – over and out.  Say a prayer to all your gods for me – and for gods sakes tell me what you pack when you travel – please? – thank you.