Pop Culture Vulture – Fall Edition

I’ll start with the Real Housewives dynasty. I think we’re done. I don’t know if I’m bored or growing up, but I’ve had enough. The fake tans, the fake problems, the fake boobs…everyone needs to a good hot bath.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey:

The Reunion(s): I love Andy Cohen but how could he? Three episodes of the reunion! Outrageous. This season was all about Melissa being a stripper (or not) and …nothing else. That’s literally what the entire 9 episode arch was about. Riveting. But it’s not your fault. I still watched.

The Real Housewives of New York:

I’m not sure what the season was about. But I have been obsessed with the new ladies that joined the show. Aviva with her fake leg, Heather with her girdle empire and Carole with those insanely uneven lips. Yes Ramona drank and Sonja didn’t make sense – and when will Luann finally admit she’s really Louis in a dress? She’s got more testosterone than most men I know.

Moving away from Bravo and diving right into TLC – which has more trashy shows now than HBO after dark.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo:

I know many people around the country are up in arms about this show. They’ve called it exploitive, creepy, and sad. I call it genius. I love me the Thompsons. You know why? They are completely in on the joke. They are laughing at each other as we laugh at them. I think it’s a cheeky, hilarious good time – and I for one am thrilled that they’ll be making some cash. Bless their hearts.

My life isn’t all about reality shows you know…

Dexter:

Last season sucked. Where is the serial killer I first fell in love with? Trinity was the last good bad guy we had together. Then we slid into Julia Stiles – I can’t even remember what that was about. And what happened to your Dad? No more advice from beyond the grave? Sigh. I miss the good old days – like when  Dexter would chop up a bad guy and be back in time for a police briefing.

Boardwalk Empire:

After last season’s Jimmy/Mommy issues I’m very excited by Bobby Cannavale and his demented character.  Suspicious, untrusting, evil and funny. All my favorite characteristics in a gangster.

Homeland:

Carrie has lost it. Again. After electro-therapy she’s teaching English at a local college when she’s asked to go to Beirut to meet an old informant – foreign espionage ensues. Is this the best show on TV? I think so. I love Claire Danes, but can we talk about Mandy Patinkin? I’ve always been a fan. From his Inigo Montoya in The Princess Bride to his turn as the evil Huxley in Elmo in Grouchland (which I had to watch 1,800 times with my son).  Anyone?

So there you have it. How I spend my free time. Help me.

Pop Culture Vulture – part deux

The Oxford English Dictionary just added the word Pop Candy to the next printing. Defined as “information that is not relevant but is hugely interesting on a surface level”.  Finally. A motto I can live by.

On that note – here’s all the non-relevant but interesting (to me) information that’s been churning around in my head – SPOILERS AHEAD!

  • Breaking Bad is breaking me down. Did you see last night’s episode, Dead Freight? They went there. They did it. What I thought was going to be a lighter episode about an old-fashioned bank heist – designed by Jesse so no witnesses would have to die  – led to one of the most disturbing scenes in the whole series.  They killed a kid. In the last 60 seconds of the episode – they killed a boy.  It happened so fast – seemed so unconnected – and then all the pieces from the opening scene fit. The newest member of their crew, a ginger who looked like he couldn’t harm a fly, Todd – did the deed in a flash.  Jesse was the only one who cried out. Walt just stood there and watched quietly.  Holy Shit.  All the other things about the episode – Hank’s office being bugged by Walt, Jesse’s obvious crush on Lydia, Walt, Jr using his middle name Flynn, the funny/anxious train robbery – all forgotten.  The show just went down a dead end street – which I guess is the point, since this is the last season. There is no turning back now – no redemption.  Walt, Mike, Todd and even poor Jesse have to go down. Hard.
  • The Real Housewives of New York.  Oh stop smirking – I have to watch this crap to get images of dead kids out of my head! I’ve been with this series since they began – I’ve been there when Jill and Bethany had it out, through all of the Ramona’coasters fueled on booze – even when Kelly went crazy, again, on a tropical island and started popping jelly beans. Those were good times. But Aviva and her fake leg chronicles (I told you there were spoilers ahead) , LuAnn and her pretend pregnancy issues and that other chick whose name I can’t even remember. I dunno. I’m bored. Sonja has gone off the deep end – she’s a caricature now – and not in an entertaining way. They are all pandering to some sort of post show career they hope to have.  The only episode that was slightly fun was the one with Aviva’s ridiculous father. Can’t dentures be ordered to fit your mouth? It’s not one size fits all right?
  • The Wendy Williams Show. Where have you been all my life? Sassy, funny, corny – and so NYC (ok, bridge and tunnel but still)  I’m not sure how it translates around the country (is it even on around the country?) – but man it’s awesome.  I told a friend that I just started watching and she said,”uh huh” and hung up the phone.  Brain candy people. Or maybe just candy.  Sticky, gooey, rots-your-teeth candy. Bring it!

If I had a TV in my kitchen I could watch even more of this crap. Sigh.