Cramming.

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I feel like I’m 16 again. Or 17. Maybe 19.

I have to read this book before 7pm tomorrow night. No, it’s not for a class I’m taking. There’s no exam or final that I need to prep for. Just a fun book club meeting. A meeting in a wine and paint shop.

So really, this book will be like, the 3rd thing we pay attention to. In my mind it’ll be Wine, Paint, Book. Or maybe Paint, Wine, Book. It totally won’t be Book, Paint, Wine – I know that much for sure! But I still want to read it. It’s about a saucy girl’s childhood and it’s full of bad words and bad deeds. Aren’t you jealous of my book club. My book club is better than your book club.

So it’s not really like college. Or like being 16, 17, or 19 – since I didn’t have wine until I turned 30…ahem.

All my free time before and after work will go to this book. As soon as I’m done with this blog. And except the time I’ll spend watching my recorded shoes. And then ofcourse I need to go to bed by 10. But other than that – I’m all over this book.

Babes With Books (BWB)

Last night I hosted the monthly meeting of a book club I joined this past year. I know I’ve told you about it before (This ain’t no Oprah’s Book Club ). Did I mention the name of our club? BWB. Oh roll your eyes all you want, it’s cute.

Each month the host of the meeting also picks the book we all read. For October, it was my turn. I picked, “Where’d You Go, Bernedette?”

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Have you read it? Did you love it like I loved it? Here’s the Amazon blurb:  Bernadette Fox is notorious. To her Microsoft-guru husband, she’s a fearlessly opinionated partner; to fellow private-school mothers in Seattle, she’s a disgrace; to design mavens, she’s a revolutionary architect, and to 15-year-old Bee, she is a best friend and, simply, Mom. Then Bernadette disappears. It began when Bee aced her report card and claimed her promised reward: a family trip to Antarctica. But Bernadette’s intensifying allergy to Seattle–and people in general–has made her so agoraphobic that a virtual assistant in India now runs her most basic errands. A trip to the end of the earth is problematic.To find her mother, Bee compiles email messages, official documents, secret correspondence–creating a compulsively readable and touching novel about misplaced genius and a mother and daughter’s role in an absurd world.

It’s funny. It’s quirky. It’s heartbreaking. My three favorite things to be. I adored Bernadette. She and I would be fast friends. Who doesn’t love a woman that outsources her daily life? Here’s some of my favorite quotes from the book,

Your mission statement says Galer Street is based on global “connectitude.” You people don’t just think outside the box, you think outside the dictionary!

…And I’m going to let you in on a little secret about life. You think it’s boring now? Well, it only gets more boring. The sooner you learn it’s ON YOU to make life interesting, the better off you’ll be.

…I’d say I never considered myself a great architect. I’m more of a creative problem solver with good taste and a soft spot for logistical nightmares.

I’m seriously adding the last line into my resume, “I don’t consider myself an event planner. I’m more of a creative problem solver with good taste and a soft spot for logistical nightmares”.  You should steal it too.

In the book, Bernadette gets derailed from something she was passionate about, and it almost destroys her. Without being overly dramatic, I can say that I totally relate. I’ve moved further and further away from everything I loved about event planning.

It’s natural, I guess, to become a bit more cynical as you progress in your career. But it’s been a bummer. I spend more time on conference calls debating headcount than I do debating flower or menu choices. Actually I spend zero time on the latter. I blame the corporate environment! I blame the economy! I blame the man! Just kidding. There’s no man to blame. It’s marketing after all. It’s an island full of amazon women who look normal on the outside, but inside – they’re trained mercenaries trying to outdo one another.  Just kidding again. That’s the island Wonder Woman is from.

What I’m trying to say is… I love event planning and I miss my old event planning self. Where’d you go?

So in honor of Bernedette – I pulled out all the stops to last night’s meeting.

Individual appetizers were served in a ridiculous but awesome tray/cup contraption. There were enough chips and dips to make an 80’s housewife proud. There was even a cheese platter with cutesy little ceramic signs and decorative table coverings. Decorative table coverings!! Who’s got time for that? Not me. But I did it anyway. And it made me so happy. (If you are wondering how I had all this stuff – a good friend who knows the buried planner inside me gifted them to me last Christmas)

Here’s a picture of the lovely ladies. This was taken about a minute before we pulled up twerking videos on YouTube and one of these BWBs, not sayin’ who, got up and tried the move. Take that Diana Prince.

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This ain’t no Oprah’s book club

Besides working and mothering and wife’ing – I try to have some fun. Just a little bit. Because I’m a frustrated English major deep inside, I’ve been talking to a few of my ‘hood moms about starting a book club. We talked a lot about starting it. For months we talked. But nothing happened. Then one of these marvy women suggested we join a club already in progress. One started and run by a group of responsible women who actually do what they say they want to do. Cool concept right?

So we dove in. Kind of. Work, kid stuff, and personal marital commitments (such as trying to see my husband for 5 minutes every night) got in the way. But I finally made a few meetings. And it was great.

The women who started this group are, ahem, seasoned. They’ve lived through divorce, remarriage, kids in college, retirement and multiple health issues.  There’s a mix of life stages – women with young kids, older kids, grandkids and no kids.  We rotate houses every month – this is my favorite part about the club, access to new peeks into how people live. If there was a club called just-go-see-how-other-people-live-every-month I’d so join it. I’d be the president of that club.  And by the way, I am not interested in judging. I’m just extremely curious. inquisitive. Nosey.

Admittedly, all the books we’ve picked have been a bit morose – but the conversations have been anything but!  Here’s a short list of what was covered in the last few meetings:

  • A second chance romance and love story by the host of the night that involved the Italian countryside and sangria
  • Did you know you can get a tummy tuck paid for by insurance if you partner it with a hysterectomy? True story.
  • No matter how Kosher you are, take a xanax if you need to. I don’t know what this means but there was a lot of time spent on it.
  • A field trip to a master bath that featured a bidet toilet seat cover combo (heated with a remote control).
  • Baby daddies, the Philadelphia public school system and wars started because of false religious beliefs.

We fit in some books too…

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Here’s a synopsis of what we thought –

  • 10 year olds shouldn’t get married.
  • spoiler alert – the pajamas were actually a concentration camp uniform
  • you don’t need no stinking man when you have a horse.

Can’t wait for the next meeting!

Pinned

It’s 10:38pm and I’m finally done with work. I’m not complaining. Just giving you the facts.

I’m a little fried. Lots of balls in the air – a few dropped here or there.

Sometimes I end these crappy days with a reality show, or a glass of wine, or by just crawling into bed early. Other days I surf the net randomly for things I think are interesting. Like – the perfect flat sandal (a little ethnic and a little modern), or I ask the great internet Gods the big questions – what’s really the difference between flan and panna cotta? Is it possible to eat carbs and still go to heaven?

But on some really exhausting days when I cannot even muster the energy to google something, I go to my all time favorite respite. The site that is more picture than words.

It starts with a P but it does not end in “orn”.

Pinterest.

Which I called PinINterest for almost a year.

I haven’t figured out how to post cool things yet. Note to self, do or own cool things to post.

But I love going on and typing things like – funky desserts, DIY paint projects, DIY furniture. Anything you can imagine is on there. It’s magic.

Tonight I typed in my go-to. My standard. But the genius of Pinterest is that you could type in the same subject every day and get different connections.

Here’s what I’ll be forgetting my sorrows with tonight: home decor.

http://pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=home%20decor

It keeps me off the streets.

Bard Books

I went to go visit the cutest little baby on the Upper West Side of NYC. I would show you a picture but his parents are normal, private people that don’t need to Facebook, Twitter and Instagram every waking moment of their new baby’s life. Instead they are living in the moment and off the social grid. Freaks.
Look at these books I found for the babe. Forget “Goodnight Moon” – cool babies read these…

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I went with the fish tale…

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They also had Romeo and Juliet…but that’s just crazy.

Serenity Now

Serenity Now!

Last summer we spent a day at this lake, sitting, eating, playing all sorts of catch, reading gossip magazines, taking random photos, trying to guess what that building in the distance was, spraying on buckets of sunscreen and bug spray. It was 90 something degrees and humid.  At one point my husband took the kids for a walk around the lake and I didn’t go.  I kept our cooler company and stayed put.  I remember thinking about nothing, staring at the clouds and zoning out.  I’d like to zone out for a living.  I could be the VP of zoning out.  I could project manage the shit out of zoning out. Hi. I’m the head of the zoning out group. How can I do absolutely nothing for you? sigh.

 

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Twice as Nice…

Guest post today.  This time from my friend RD.  Another person who should have her own blog – stat!! 


Ok, I admit it.  I’m a Gemini.  Not just a Gemini–a full-blown, hardcore, dyed-in-the-wool Gemini.  So is my host, WME, by the way, I’m totally outing her.

For those of you not lucky enough (or unlucky enough, depending on your POV) to have a Gemini in your life, let me take you to school.

Textbook Geminis are:

Adaptable and versatile

Communicative and witty

Intellectual and eloquent

Youthful and lively

They are also said to be:

Nervous and tense

Superficial and inconsistent

Cunning and inquisitive (read: nosy)

How dare you, Ancient Astrologers!  I cannot be pigeon-holed!

Except apparently I can–because I own just about every adjective on this list.  Some more than others, of course, but the Twin traits are definitely in full effect.

I have a friend/former boss, who has a sister who is a Gemini and she used to intro her by saying, “This is my sister, Carol.  And my OTHER sister, Carol.”

In case you didn’t get the joke, the implication is that Gems are also changeable, and like their Astrological symbol (Twins), two people.  Twins are great–if you actually are TWO people, instead of one.  That can get a little hairy.

Admittedly, I am known to change my mind like some people change their socks, and can go from happy as a clam, to a raging bull in 5 seconds flat, if circumstances warrant.

Some other evidence of my Gemini-ness:

I love the beach, but I hate walking on sand.

I will do shots of whiskey or tequila in a dive bar as happily as I will sit down for a full English Tea at The Plaza. (More Devonshire Cream, please).

I am a fervent animal lover, and donor-member of several animal-related charities, however, I love a good cheeseburger or a steak, almost as much as I love protecting animals. Why do cows have to be cute AND delicious?

I have a corporate/conservative job, but I have two rather sizable tattoos, and would have MANY more if my oh-so-square BF wouldn’t kill me.  (Just kidding, Honey. But not really).

I have the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy on my Nook (Don’t judge me! I know you’ve read it too).  I also have the entire Anne of Green Gables series and Martha Stewart Weddings magazine. I call it being multi-faceted.

You get the point.  So while being a with a Gemini can give other mere mortals whiplash, I say we are the coolest sign in the Zodiac.  After all, we can have our cake, and eat it too.