Things I noticed by sleeping in our guest room…

03 Aug 2021 Leave a comment

by wifemothereventplanner in I need to tell you about this right now Tags: , , , , , , ,

I slept in the guest room last night.

No. I wasn’t fighting with Joe. We’ve been married for too long to kick each other out. Now if we fight we just go to bed. Like normal. There’s always another day to keep the fight going, no need to ruin a good nights rest. Plus our backs hurt on the couch

Here’s what happened. Our new bed was set to arrive today. It’s a king. Our first one. The old bed was a generous gift and we’ve had it for almost 2 decades. I would have slept in it forever. Why? Two reasons: a) I’m cheap and b) I don’t like to spend money. Joe doesn’t have this issue. But after 25 years of marriage, we’ve figured out how to balance each other out and our attitude towards money totally doesn’t matter.

Just kidding! It causes loads of problems and always will. But in this case he was right. We needed, we wanted, we deserve a big ‘ol bed!

I posted our old bed on a site for free things and it was picked up today. But that leaves us with no bed in our bedroom. So the guest room it is!

I love my little guest room.

It’s so sweet. Pretty color. My kids artwork hanging on the walls. I love it. And apparently our guests are forced to love it. It’s all good.

But I’ve never actually slept there, until last night. Let’s just say I noticed a few things:

  1. There’s no place to easily plug your phone. TRAGEDY. This is the first thing I look for in a bed.
  2. The big decorative clock has the time wrong. I know it’s supposed to be decorative, but it should also work. Staring at the wrong time on a clock drives me crazy.
  3. My head is right by the window. The window is right by a street. The street has cars driving up and down. There’s also critter noise. Really loud critters. Right by my head.
  4. The pillow topper on the mattress is very soft, like super soft. Everyone can’t enjoy that. Don’t some people like firm
  5. Correction on #3. The window was open. I closed it and it got better.
  6. I heard people…. teenagers….ok one teenage boy trampling up and down the halls all night. I heard his door open/shut, his 6 foot frame thumping up and down the stairs. Into the bathroom. Out of the bathroom. THUMP THUMP THUMP. It was like I was sleeping in the hallway of a youth hostel.
  7. I never noticed that our living room was right underneath our guest room. Our living room that has 4 extra speakers built into the ceiling because the 198 ft TV doesn’t make enough noise. It was like sleeping on top of a movie theater. When I told my husband this, he beemed with pride. “A theater? Really?” See what I’m dealing with?
  8. Finally, although I loved the “furry” comforter I bought for guest room bed – it seemed very whimsical and fun at the time – it’s like a sauna when you’re sleeping underneath it. I was dying. I couldn’t breath. I almost died.

Anyway I have some work to do. Some shit to fix. It’s not all bad. The lamps are cute. The accessories are cute. But no place to plug your phone?? Not good.

To all my lovely family and friends who stayed there from near and far in the past few years … I have only one question – why didn’t you tell me??? WHY?? That’s two questions.

Sigh…. you think you know people.

Hair. A love story.

28 Jul 2021 2 Comments

by wifemothereventplanner in Brave New World Tags: , , , , , , ,

Well a love/hate story for me.

My hair today is naturally wavy which means it leans frizzy.

Before I had kids. Before I got married. Before I got old. My hair was smooth, thick and very healthy. I’m not blaming my husband and kids for any turn of events, I’m just stating facts.

Beside a low point when I decided to try to “perm” my hair and ended up with a tight Afro for half a year – my hair has been good to me.

It’s the kind of hair that people would comment on. It’s so shiny. It’s so pretty. Yada yada. Indians have good hair. Ask Chris Rock – he did a whole documentary on it.

Sometimes stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason.

I spend a lot of time thinking about my hair.

For those of you reading this who can’t relate, good for you. I would love to be so irreverent. But I can’t. For me, it’s all about the schedule. The hair washing schedule.

If I’m having a good day, if I’m not having a good day…it’s about the hair.

No. Not a good hair day. That’s cute. I’m talking about a daily, hourly evaluation of where my hair is at.

Day one to two of washing – it’s amazing. I’ve cared for it. I’ve blown it out (or I’ve had a very nice woman named Lydia blow it out). It’s peak. I’m peak.

Even during these peak days there is a struggle. Or at least now there’s a struggle. When I wasn’t working out – it was no big deal. But now there’s a delicate but immense balance between clean, blown-out hair and working out.

In the winter months I was walking my literal ass off and breaking a minor sweat. My hair was in great shape after a 10K walk.

Now…in this thick, hot, steamy heat…I look like a drowned rat after I walk. And that’s me being kind to myself.

I have to plan my workouts/walks either before or after a peak day. That’s right. My health journey is fully dependent on my hair schedule. I told you this shit was complicated.

Oh…try dry shampoo you say? Genius. I’ve done it. I’m on it. I’m in it. It can help – but it can’t perform miracles. I’ve also tried hats, hair bands, hair nets, etc.

I plan my workouts and hair washing like some people do meal prep during the week. Here’s my week….here’s what I need to look good for…here’s what I can get away with…ugh. It’s an ordeal.

Listen – I know I have like tier 2 hair issues. There are black girls reading this and rolling their eyes. I get it. I bow down. But it’s still a thing for me. A big THING.

To add insult to injury, last year, during the height of Covid…I started losing hair. It just started falling out. Was it stress? Was it hormones? Was it a cosmic joke? I dunno – but what I do know is that it was DEVASTATING.

I freaked out. I bought hair vitamins. I bought expensive products. I googled every hair remedy I could find. I prayed to the hair gods. And then finally, I let it go.

It was what it was. I no longer had that thick, rich head of hair that people commented on.

I was now buying products for “thin hair”. Oh the irony of finally buying something for myself labeled “thin”!

I asked my doctor about it and she said words that resembled menopause and I tuned out completely. What do they know? I’m going back to my old, trusted friend. Instagram.

On Instagram I found my new favorite shampoo.

It’s expensive (by my CVS standards). It’s hard to find. Gwyneth Paltrow uses it. These are all good enough stats for me.

And because my algorithm is now ABBA dance routines and hair products, Instagram also brought the WOW and IGK products into my life. And of course I love them too.

I’ve been using these products for about 2 months and I have to say…legit not one thing has changed. But I’m still into them.

So! If you want to try something that I cannot say has done anything for me except make me feel good -give it a go. My only bit of good news recently has been that Lydia noticed baby hairs growing and said,” Meha (that’s what she calls me), your baby hairs are coming in black not grey!”.

I cried I was so happy.

Hair. It’s ruining and ruling my life. Who wears wigs? DM me.

Here’s 3 peak days I’ve had this summer (one is just to show off my earring TBH):

This land is your land…

04 Jul 2021 4 Comments

by wifemothereventplanner in Brave New World Tags: , , , , , , ,

We were on vacation out West this week and the hotel we stayed at had this beautiful flag up. I could see it from the pool I spent some quality time in. I thought about it a lot.

I’ve always loved the flag. I’ve always loved this country. Even though I wasn’t born here, I consider this my home. I was naturalized here. Became a citizen here. As I’ve said in other posts, I spent the majority of my childhood wanting to pretend I was from nowhere else. It didn’t work.

I’ve traveled to my share of other countries, including the one I was born in. Those places are amazing. I want to see more places all over the world. But then I want to come home. To America.

I’ve only seriously considered moving to one other country (hello Ireland!), but there’s no Dunkin’. So there goes that.

In the last few years I’ve noticed a big change. I didn’t know if it was just me or not. I’m feeling like I’m on the wrong team to love the flag. Like unless I agree with a certain ideology or belief system, the flag isn’t for me.

I asked some good friends their opinion on this to make sure I wasn’t just overthinking it. Overthinking is my superpower.

One of them, whose family has been here since and fought in the Revolutionary War, told me she feels the same way.

Another, whose father and grandfather were in the military, told me that they were disgusted with the way the flag was being used. No real veteran wants to pit Americans against each other.

I should be able to fly the flag proudly and still be ok questioning laws, people, policy etc. That’s how it all began here. From day one. British rule, fleeing Pilgrims and slaughtered Indians… remember?

That flag has been through a lot. And I’m sure we’ve got more changes coming.

But I’m pretty confident that the flag isn’t just for some Americans. Flying it doesn’t mean you love your country the most – and not flying it, kneeling in front of it or turning your back to it doesn’t mean you hate it. It’s bigger and deeper than that.

I think all this mess started with this “melting pot” business. Newsflash- melting together isn’t working people! The emulsification isn’t taking. We’re too different. Too unique in our own ways to blend together.

Plus we’re all so problematic. We have a ton of issues. There’s lots of learning to do. So we will never be a true pot of melted goodness.

So what. That’s fine. Let’s be stew. Big, sloppy chunks of different ingredients coming together to form one nation, under God or Bravo. With one flag. My flag. And your flag too 🇺🇸.

Mask on? Mask off?

31 May 2021 Leave a comment

by wifemothereventplanner in Brave New World Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I just went to the grocery store this weekend. On the door it says, “If you HAVEN’T been vaccinated, we RECOMMEND a mask”. But when you enter the store there’s a sign that says, “Don’t forget your mask!” – just like that. With a friendly exclamation point. You could also take the exclamation mark as an order, but I’m assuming best intent here.

Almost everyone in the store had a mask on. A few didn’t. Even the workers were a mixed bag. Some had it on, some didn’t. I ended up putting it on. Then I was in the pickle aisle and no one had it on, so I took it off. Then I went to the diary aisle and everyone had it on, so I put it back on. I’m losing my mind.

I liked it when we were all doing the same thing. Wearing masks or not wearing masks. This weird middle time is not good for me.

Now this post isn’t for those that believe there’s no virus or that this is a global hoax. No, bless your hearts, you can keep going about your day.

This is for those people like me. I know it’s real. I followed all the rules. I made a pod. Wore the mask. I tried to be as safe as possible. But when restaurants opened up slowly last year – we went. First only outdoor, but then slowly indoor. When stores opened – we went. When vaccines came out, we got it.

We have close friends that have lost family to Covid. I’m not diminishing the severity of what we just went through – but I’m also desperately wanting it to be over.

Isn’t it possible for me to completely believe in the science of it and also want to wear lipstick again? I’m just so done with it.

If there was a scale from 1-10, 1 being the folks who thought it was a hoax, and 10 being the people who washed their delivered groceries in the garage until last week – I’m a solid 6. Maybe a 5.5. My family was careful for sure. But not the most careful, if you know what I mean.

At the beginning of the month we had a family wedding where there were literally people called “mask police”. Worst job since Norton on the Honeymooners. They would follow you around and if you were not sitting – you needed your mask on. Fair enough. My entire family was fully vaccinated at that point but I did what they asked. No big deal.

Compare that to a week ago when many of the restaurants near us dropped the capacity rules. My husband and I did our all time favorite thing. We had dinner at the bar. They still had those plastic shields up, but it was great. I want more of that.

I want no masks. I want parties. I want to go to Shoprite without hyperventilating and figuring out which aisle I’m allowed to walk into. But I want everyone to do it together. Impossible?

I thought it would be easier. I thought I’d be ok with the “you do you” approach. But it’s causing me anxiety.

You know who I like? Airports. I like airports. They have a rule. Everyone needs a mask. Done and done.

You know who I also like? All the places we went to this past weekend on the Jersey shore. They had no signs at all. No one wore a mask. Not even the servers. So we didn’t either. And we were not sorry.

I like wearing a mask on a plane or a train. I don’t like wearing a mask almost anywhere else.

I cannot be the only one. Mask haters when fully vaccinated unite!

Happy maskless Monday. Maybe.

The get-up

19 May 2021 1 Comment

by wifemothereventplanner in I need to tell you about this right now Tags: , , , , , , ,

I think I’ve mentioned that I started walking last year. I did it to get some fresh air and to get the heck out of the house. 20/80.

You probably walk or run or bike too. Maybe even for the same 20/80 reasons as me. Although I never run. I can’t. My body doesn’t do that. If I were to be chased by an animal or alien or something, I would just surrender. It’s been a good life.

So see, we are totally alike. We’re just the same. Except when you go for a walk, you grab your headphones and maybe your phone – or you have an iwatch and you don’t even need your phone.

When I go for a walk…I have accoutrements. Some additional items.

Here’s what I grab before I go….

  • SPF 100 – yes it’s a thing. It’s real
  • Lip balm with SPF 30. I’m serious about sun damage
  • Visor – no, not baseball hat. A visor, with Velcro
  • Large sunglasses to block the sun and eye contact with other people
  • Tissues because it’s pollen season
  • Headphones – see I’m normal! Although I don’t listen to music. Ever. Like never. Only murder podcasts
  • Ankle weights. You heard me. Ankle weights. And not the cool, low-key kind. Nope. I like the Jane Fonda 80’s neon kind. Last week I added hand weights but I think I went too far. I got a lot of weird looks so I’m not gonna do that again…

BTW – if you think this is bad. I looked even more ridiculous in the winter.

Anyway the sun is out. Go take a walk. It’s easy. Just follow my 7 easy steps! Lol!

no big deal. Dogs bark at me me but I pay them no mind!
Just a low key gal exercising
Meet baby babushka

oil and vinegar

12 May 2021 6 Comments

by wifemothereventplanner in Brave New World Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

May 12, 1996 was a Sunday. Mother’s Day.

It was also the day that my husband and I eloped.

Today is our 25th anniversary. Our silver jubilee!

Last night at 10:40pm my husband of a quarter of a century said,” what do people do for their 25th anniversary? A party or something?”

He’s all mine ladies. Has been for multiple lifetimes according to some. Let me explain.

Because I like to throw money away, I go to a lot of psychics and readers. One of these readers told me that Joe and I have been married before. Many times. During many lives.

Really? Us? I loved hearing it and yet instantly doubted it.

“That’s so funny because really we are like oil and water” I said,” very different”

The reader took both my hands (this was way before Covid) and looked me dead in the eyes.

“Oil and water? No no, that’s not right. You are oil and vinegar. You emulsified. Transformed. You are perfect together” she said.

I cried ofcourse. And gave her a big tip. All these years I walked around thinking we were oil and water. Never mixing. Two different to combine. She turned it upside down. Or maybe she right sided it. She may have been a total hoax, I’ll never know. I didn’t go back to her again. I was afraid the magic moment would never happen twice.

So today, to celebrate this union of salad dressing, I thought I’d share some moments from our 25 years. These pictures doesn’t show the fights and pain and anger and sorrow – which are in between these happy moments.

It’s been good and bad and better and worse. It’s been everything you can probably imagine and everything you’ll never know. Thanks for letting me share.

How it started…

90s dorm room fashion! Denim on Denim
He went to an empty classroom and surprised me with this. I walked out of my class to go to the next one and he was there, waiting to show this to me. Creepy and cute
So many questions with this one. 1) Why did we feel the need to take a pic in front of Walmart? 2) We brought a camera to Walmart? 3) Who the heck took the pick?

We graduate and elope!

May 12, 1996, East Hampton NY
This is where our honeymoon pic should be. But because we eloped so quickly the first trip my new husband took was with his best friend to London and Amsterdam. Every new marriage should start with a trip apart. Not
This was a year later. Our honeymoon trip to Bermuda. I look at this pic and only see my healthy, shiny hair. I have issues.

This next set of pics is called – BABIES HAVING BABIES (on purpose)

Kera in my big belly, our NYC railroad apartment
Sure! Stand in the middle of Lexington Ave in NYC with a newborn in your hand. Totally safe. You’re in good hands baby girl!
Jack in my big belly, Fishkill, NY

Since it’s my Jubilee (said like Elaine says fiancé on Seinfeld), I’m going to be indulgent and keep sharing…

Joe told us he was taking us to tour Martha’s Vineyard. In reality we toured all the spots they filmed the movie Jaws. I was less than pleased.
Brussels for the day. We took the metro from Paris. Everyone spoke English.
Ugly sweater contest that I won but my neighbor stole the votes (I know what you did Jeff!)
I now like a beach thanks to this man. I also like an umbrella, a visor, and SPF 100.
One of my favorite pictures. Nothing makes him happier than a belly full of steak. I think I had creamed spinach that night. Thanks for nothing Peter Lugers.

The years, the months, the hours. I remember every minute of it, and yet it’s a blur! From the missteps we made, to the mountains we moved together, I’m so happy we went for it.

Love you Joseph.

9 years older and none the wiser

18 Apr 2021 5 Comments

by wifemothereventplanner in Brave New World Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I can’t believe this blog is 9 years old. I don’t feel a day over 2.

I highly recommend writing a blog. It’s super fun. You get to pretend people want to hear what’s on your mind. You get to spout off the nonsense that’s rattling in your head.

Most days I have nothing to write about. Other days there’s so much to say.

I have a dozen posts in drafts that never saw the light of day. Mostly because they were awful. You’re welcome.

So 9 years went by. I took breaks. Long ones. But I’ll still celebrate the milestone. Besides my kids I haven’t grown anything for 9 years.

What will the 10th year bring?? More cooking posts? More skincare posts? More deep, intelligent thoughts about Oprah and bread? Yes. All of it.

Why don’t you write a blog? I’m telling you it’s easy. You can do it. I’ll read it. I’ll be your first follower.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for commenting. Thank you for all the texts and notes about the posts I’ve written. I love doing it.

Lookout for the WMEP Podcast coming soon… JK JK

Diet tips…Vol.1

22 Mar 2021 Leave a comment

by wifemothereventplanner in Cooking! Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

First have a healthy, balanced dinner.

Then walk to the kitchen, pass a pizza pie your 17 year old with a metabolic rate of a cheetah ordered as a snack and keep walking.

Loop around, go back into the kitchen once he’s done and spy the box.

Because being wasteful is bad, decide to not throw out the leftover slice. But since you’re also literally trying to walk your ass off, only cut off a small piece. Go back to watching tv.

Loop around. And again.

And again.

Calories consumed in small pieces don’t count. It’s a law.

When finished delete your 17 year olds door dash account to show him who’s boss and project your anger and guilt.

Here’s the tale visually

Vol. 2 coming soon… how to eat a donut in 29 bites.

TikTok’d

12 Feb 2021 Leave a comment

by wifemothereventplanner in Cooking! Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Every night, I leave my husband downstairs to watch the news and head upstairs to bed. But I’m not really going to sleep. I’m going upstairs to be alone and dive deep into my TikTok hole. And I love it.

Have you done it? Isn’t it great? Synchronized dancing? Quick cooking recipes? This is the place for me. I’m sure my algorithm is totally different than yours – sometimes people tell me about some crazy video they saw, not me. My TikTok videos are a mash up of what they think a 10 year girl and her grandmother would like to see. It’s all cleaning hacks and babies dancing.

No matter what your algorithm- the one thing on everyone’s channel is the famous TikTok Feta Pasta! It’s all the rage. It all started in 2018 when a Finnish blogger posted this recipe. It didn’t catch on until this year when another Finnish blogger reposted – and all of Finland went mad over it. They ran out of feta cheese! They ran out. I mean, aren’t you glad we live in America? We may run out of toilet paper, but not cheese. Never cheese. Or wine.

Anyway – back to it.

Soon the recipe was all over TikTok. Every other video was someone making it. And because I’m easily influenced, I had to make it too.

The premise is so simple: Toss a block of feta, tomatoes and a bunch of olive oil together in a pan and throw it in the oven until softened, before mixing it all together with pasta and fresh basil (I subbed dried oregano because I didn’t have basil). I also added in garlic… well because garlic.

In the oven it goes – 375 degrees for 45 min or so. Couldn’t be easier.

Once out you mash it all together and combine with your pasta.

And… drum roll please…

It was ok. It was meh.

It was fine. I ate it. Mine came out a bit dry, so I ended up adding a dash of heavy cream. That helped. I also added a good bit of salt and pepper. That helped. And then crushed red pepper. Again it helped.

I’m really glad I added the garlic. Maybe I used the wrong feta? Maybe the Finnish feta is creamier?

Or maybe these TikTokers have never had good pasta. Or they’ve never combined pasta with cheese. Even Snoop Dog’s Mac and Cheese is better than this – I’ve tried it!

Whatever the case, I didn’t feel the euphoric high they seem to get from this dish.

I really wanted to love it. I wanted to be a cool kid. As always – not so much.

No Bueno

25 Jan 2021 Leave a comment

by wifemothereventplanner in I need to tell you about this right now Tags: , , , , , ,

I broke my cardinal rule.

No, it’s not don’t eat potato chips at 10pm.

I was only going to eat 12. Which is one serving. Promise. Stop looking at me.

So what’s the rule? I’ll tell you. My cardinal rule is… don’t eat fused food!! I hate fusion! Ok not hate, but like really dislike.

I like mango. I like habanero. Why do they need to be combined?? And why did I fall for it?

Let me clarify that there are certain things that work – sour cream and onion, magic! Salt and vinegar, genius! But can we just calm down?

Chocolate wine? Dill pickle bagels? Please. PLEASE. Stop.

Anyway these are not great.

Mango?? Nope. Not there. Don’t taste it. Mango is unique. Mango is not just sweet. It’s nuanced and sometimes tart and fibery (it’s a word) and makes you feel Islandy (it’s a word).

Habanero? Ummm maybe a little black pepper or something. Go ahead and give it to your toddler – it’s fine. No heat. There’s almost nothing there. Those fiery Cheetos do more harm (btw love those).

There’s not much more to this post, I’m afraid. Don’t buy these chips. Also I wanted to say crisps because I’ve been watching Bridgerton but I fought the urge.

Tomorrow will be better.

I ate the full serving. If I’m being honest.

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