Only Boring People Get Bored

Here’s a random list of all the things I’ve been doing/seeing/eating/buying/worrying about/disliking/loving/wanting in the last few weeks:

  • Every year, in prep for the Oscars, my husband and I try to see all the nominated movies (we’re crazy like that).  This year we’re almost there – minus his absolute resolve to NOT see Le Mis.  I saw it. I started crying during the first scene and haven’t stopped since. 
  • I’ve wanted a nutmeg grinder for a long time. Many a day I strolled into Williams Sonoma, coveted and then walked out. It’s not expensive. But then you start thinking about how much nutmeg you actually use in real life and how absurd it is to have a special little grinder for it – and then the $30 may as well be $3,000.  Long grinder story short – my secret santa gave me the damn grinder for Christmas. And I haven’t used it once. And I probably won’t touch it until next November. But I LOVE it and it makes me insanely happy. Insane being the key word. Picture below.
  • My sister-in-law hurt her leg and spent some quality time with us in the begining of January.  She was trapped on our couch with a giant bag of ice  and looking for a new show to watch – we asked if she had ever seen Breaking Bad – she hadn’t. You know what’s better than finding a good show to watch on Netflix? Watching a good show again with someone who hasn’t ever watched it. It’s like tv philanthropy.
  • Downton Abbey started again – oh happy day! Recent favorite Maggie Smith line, “Don’t mistake vulgarity for wit.” I vote for a Lady Grantham spin-off, who’s in?
  • I went formal dress shopping with my teenage daughter. This should be the name of a new horror movie. Just kiddin’…anyhoo.
  • Tried a new hummus recently. Bobbi’s Hummus. It’s basically 3 parts garlic to 1 part chickpea. Lots of lemon and freshly ground pepper. I love you Bobbi, and your heavy garlic hand.
  • I got a pedicure last week for the first time since hurting my foot – which is still a bit sore.  I went to my favorite nail place. Esther runs it. She’s a nice Korean woman who I’ve gotten to know well enough for her to tell me that her real name isn’t Esther and the other two girls aren’t Anna and Tina. Last summer her son came to work in the shop. We call him Tom but you get the point. Tom does all the pedicures. Just thought you should know.
  • I tried giving up bread for 2.5 seconds on Thursday, January 3rd. Epic fail.
  • Legos are the devil.
  • The end.

IMG_4857

oh boy

Trouble, trouble, trouble.

That’s what we should have named these three.

Watch out 3rd grade – here they come.

Actual overheard (ok, eavesdropped) conversation between them:

Trouble 1 – “You know what we should do? We should take our bikes to the river and catch fish with our hands.”

Trouble 2 – “What river? Oh you mean the pond?  There’s only dead fish there. Once I did that and brought home a fish and my mom screamed.”

Trouble 3 – “Yeah – let’s make them scream!”

Then they get distracted by building the greatest Lego city that ever was, have a juice pack and call it a day.

Love them.

Say what?

I know some very funny people who crack me up all the time. Here’s some of my favorite quotes.  Not from famous people. Just from my people.

 
“I was going to go to Vegas on my 40th Birthday, but I got a divorce instead” – said by genius new friend within 10 minutes of meeting each other.  That’s how I knew she was my kind of folk.  I think this is what her memoir should be called!

“Money isn’t life mom.” – said by an 8-year-old boy in Target who wanted to buy a $50 Lego set.  Lego sets….I think they were the real cause of the ’08 financial meltdown.

“How can I fly with eagles when I’m surrounded by turkeys?” – said by an old co-worker who dropped jewels like this all the time. She is missed.

“Middle School is the ultimate rated R movie mom!” – said by a 13-year-old girl trying to convince her mother of letting her watch rated R movies (great quote – answer is still NO).

“I’ll just be here in the corner, chewing on wet cigarettes butts if you need me” – said by the most hysterical person I’ve ever worked with.  She can find a funny sliver lining on any situation – thank god for her.

“Is that a taco?” – said by a friend who was confronted at a party by someone he had been ignoring for months.  When cornered and asked to explain his disappearance he panicked and said the now famous line and walked away. There were no tacos anywhere.  I think I peed my pants that night. This line is now ubiquitous with any situation in my life that warrants getting out of dodge fast!