It’s none of my business and no one asked me but…

We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog to bring you breaking gossip or at least, my opinion of breaking gossip.

Katie Holmes dumped Tom Cruise.  All the (trashy) articles are saying that it was Scientology that did it.  That she was being controlled and didn’t want Suri to grow up trapped.  That she needed to get away from Tom.

WTF.  Where do I begin….

  • Why is everyone so freaked out by Scientology? Why is Scientology any stranger than God being born by a pregnant virgin? I don’t think it’s that weird, although I grew up in a house that had a different God for every day of the week.
  • Suri is a little alien baby, but she’s gorgeous and happy – so who cares
  • Correct me if I’m wrong but what part of Katie Holmes’ life was oppressive?  The vacation homes in Belize and St. Tropez? The designer duds? The endless luxury? Being friends with Will/Jada AND the Beckham’s? I have at least 20 more questions but I’ll spare you.
  • What was Katie busy doing before they got together? Dawson’s Creek was over – she did a couple of cool indie flicks – but other than that…snooze.
  • Tom Cruise.  I like him. I always have.  I like his movies – good, bad and Valkyrie.  I could be very happily married to him and his wacky religion.  And isn’t he gone most of the year? All we ever see are pictures of her walking around with Suri going to ice cream shops and cupcake shops. Although you never see Katie eating anything. Ever.
  • Yes, it’s a very big possibility that Tom is gay.  Even better!  Pressure’s off Katie.  Go have a life, hire a pool boy (or 3) and have some fun.
  • Before Tom, Katie was engaged to Chris Klein.  Don’t know him? ‘Nuff said.
  • Wanna know my ultimate theory on Hollywood romances and why they fail? Hunger. I think they are all hungry.  The men and the women.  Hollywood would have longer marriages if they would all just have a bagel.