Rando Friday fodder

Things that started thriving after I stopped taking care of them:

At the beginning of each summer, my husband goes out and gets me beautiful, colorful hanging plants for the front of our house. They hang on hooks on our front porch and look like dangly earrings for the house. Makes me so happy. This year, he also brought home two Hibiscus plants. And just like every summer past, I watered, nursed, and loved them…to death. No blooms. No growth. They didn’t die. But they weren’t happy. In the past I just threw them out in disgust, but this year I didn’t. At the end of August, usually the time I give up, I brought them to the backyard and stopped looking after them. I literally put all the plants in a corner. Ignored them. No more watering. No more pruning. Nothing. And guess what? They are living their best, blooming life! Who knew (except people who know flowers)! Moral of the story – I will no longer be parenting my kids. I’m assuming the same is true for them 🙂

Squirrel Smorgasbord:

Long story short – I spent a buttload of money on beautiful pumpkins and gourds which basically fed all the squirrels in our neighborhood. I really wanted to do a whole Fall Festival vibe in my backyard. I know that sounds corny (ha ha), but it’s Covid, and I gotta have something to focus on. I went and bought these pumpkins and put them all around – in back, in the front – everywhere. We’re tripping over pumpkins. But it didn’t look right. Something was off. So I started asking people what I was doing wrong. My neighbor, Marcella, who has a really creative eye, came to my rescue. And she brought props. Different textures and heights, she said, that’s what was missing. She was right. Stacking crap on top of each other doesn’t count as décor. So she tweaked, she leaned, she brought a silver urn to the party – it was fabbbbbbulous (as she would say). Then she convinced me to buy corn stalks to add to the ambiance – I jumped and got them. Did you know decorative corn stalks are actually real corn stalks? Did you know that corn stalks have actual corn on them? Did you also know that squirrels love corn like I love wine? True story. This is why we can’t have nice things.

The rat bastard

(side story….a left one of the gourds in my husband’s Jeep and it rolled under one of the seats and rotted. He found it because of the pungent Doritos-like smell that now covers every inch of his beloved car. He’s cleaned it with everything he could get his hands on. Smell will not go away. I don’t know if there are other Jeep owners reading this, but I’m not exaggerating when I say that it was the very first time in our 24 year marriage that I was afraid he would leave me. I felt terrible. The smell is better now… but not gone. All I wanted was a Fall Festival vibe people).

Tarot Thursday

One of the many perks of living in Bucks County are all the local farms and vineyards. There’s always something to do, even now. This past Thursday I went with a small, safe group of gals to do a reading at a local vineyard. It was outdoors and there was plenty of social distancing. Do you believe in Tarot? I’ve only done it twice and both times my mind was blown. Am I an easy target, maybe, but it was so much fun. I won’t tell you the cards I drew because I’m still processing, but the whole thing was completely on point. I’ll just say that there was swords, swords and death involved but apparently it’s all good! Like I said – still processing.

Hope you all have a great weekend. Stay away from squirrels, swords and me, apparently.

Wide Open Spaces

Upstate NY

We went to visit some friends who are like family and started the trip at this beautiful 5 acre property. The home is stunning – beautiful inside and out like the owners. But the back yard…with a full garden and apple orchard is what I love! If it wouldn’t have been the height of rudeness I would have sat on a wooden bench they have, in the shade, the whole time. Don’t you love guests who care more about your vegetation than you? Tell me you can’t smell the green fresh air in these pictures? Btw – those raspberries were delicious. One fell on the ground as I was looking at it. Just popped right off the plant. It was spooky. Weirdo raspberries. It’s a thing.

   
    
    
    
 

Thanks for nothing Edgar

Back in 2013 I wrote a post about how our landscaper killed my one living breathing plant.

It’s 2015 and my little plant is finally back. Check out the old post below for the story.

It took 2 years to recover. It’s the longest grudge I’ve ever held. Against a landscaper.

mo’ marriage mo’ problems | wifemothereventplanner
https://wifemothereventplanner.com/2013/08/10/mo-marriage-mo-problems/

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You say tomato, I say bruschetta

We had a fun weekend out on Long Island with our Aunt Kathy. Picked up our daughter from her annual visit, went to the beach and met some furry friends (and their pink gooey toys). I wish everyone had an Aunt Kathy.
She’s smart, funny and sassy. And if that wasn’t enough, her green thumb is off the hook. She could start one of those annoying, hipster farming co-ops if she wanted to. But she wouldn’t.
She loaded us up on the way home with green bean, eggplant and tomatoes. Not sure what I’ll do with the other stuff, but I know exactly how to polish off the toMAtoes.
To be saved for another day –

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To be eaten ASAP!

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mo’ marriage mo’ problems

You know what people who are married for 17 years fight about?

No? It’s none of your business? Sure it is. I’ll tell you.

Yes, there’s the big stuff like money, kids, etc. All those things are stressful and cause all kinds of agita.  But here’s what can really drive a marriage off the rails.

Let me set the stage.

I’m not a garden gal. I’ve tried to grow vegetables and herbs (yes even basil) and had no luck. I’ve tried to keep flowering plants alive but ended up burying most of them. But this summer I fell in love with a big, beautiful hydrangea bush in our back yard. I’m pretty sure it’s been there since we moved in but I’ve been busy and hadn’t noticed.  For the last few weeks I’ve been watering it, weeding it, tending to it like crazy. And it’s been beautiful relationship. I love it and take care it and in return,  it gives me big, colorful blooms that I can use in the house.

Then, last week, I had to go into New York City for the day. When I came back I noticed all our shrubs had been trimmed and cleaned up. Four years ago my husband found this dude, Edgar, who comes in every week in the summer to do our lawn.  Edgar and his crew usually make quick work of things that we just can’t get to. Awesome right?

Wrong.

When I went to the back to water my lovely plant – this is what I found.

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It had been butchered. Chopped. Deflowered.

Edgar!

I immediately called my husband and told him what went down.

“oh”, he said.

“oh no! You need to call him and tell him his crew killed my plant!”, I calmly but passionately stated.

So that night he called Edgar and said something along the lines of,”uh..hey Edgar…my wife is pissed because I think you guys trimmed too much from a bush in the back.” Then there was laughing and smirking and it ended with a,”it’s no big deal man….”

Let’s just say we had some “words” when he got off the phone.

He said I was treating Edgar like “the help” and I reminded him that he WAS the help. That’s what his role in our lives is. I’m not saying he’s a lesser human or anything – I’m saying he provides a service. If that service is f’d up – then he needs to own up to it.

Am I nuts? Don’t answer that.

Back to my main point – if my marriage goes down, it won’t be because of an affair or because my husband doesn’t buy me jewelry or crap like that. It’ll be because he didn’t have a fight with Edgar.

Makes sense right?

Here’s the picture I’ll be looking at whenever I want to enjoy my hydrangea plant.

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Rainy days and Mondays

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It’s almost the end of July. Eastern Pennsylvania has once again turned into the tropics.

I know today isn’t Monday. I was going to post this yesterday but then I got roped into watching American Ninja Warrior.

Have you seen that show?

I like to have a bowl of ice cream while I watch. Which is also how I watch The Biggest Loser. I’m a rebel like that.

Have a good week everyone!

(my hydrangea plants didn’t die in the heat!)

I wish I was a farmer

Last weekend a dear friend gave me a beautiful hibiscus plant.  She did all the prep work for me, fertilizer and all.  My only job is to water it regularly.  She even put it in the perfect spot.  So why am I nervous?  Because I have a secret.  I kill all plants.  Everything.  Yes, even basil (the weed of herbs).  I haven’t been able keep anything alive in years (kids are harder to kill). My intentions are always good, but many a Mother’s Day flower-pot has met a sad ending.  It’s the whole sowing part  I have to get down. I can’t just be reaping.

The only chance this plant has to survive is to humiliate me into taking care of it properly.

So, I hereby promise to water, nurture, love this plant.  I will not ignore it.  I will not let it dry out and wither like my topsy turvy tomato pot, or my mini-herb garden that became an outdoor liter box for the neighborhood cats, or my beautiful overpriced hand painted strawberry pot – which only bore me shame and disappointment.

Here is my new baby – I’ll post updates regularly (and honestly).  I hope someone feeds and loves my kids, I can’t do everything.