Two plates, one marriage

Nothing will give you a better sense of how different my husband and I really are better than a look at our dinner plates.

His plate.

My plate.

His plate.

My plate.

Carnivore and carbivore. Living in perfect harmony. Kind of.

I’m made my peace with lamb shank bones and rare beef. He’s made his peace with how many pasta/cheese/crushed red pepper combos I can come up with. At least I’m a cheap date.

We’ve been at this since 1991. The ying to my yang. The mustard to his hot dog. The chutney to my samosa. I think we’ll be like this for the rest of our lives, or until we see a cardiologist.

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This post is dedicated to Howard. Who loves when I write about literally nothing. That’s his favorite. In opposite world.

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A few months ago I got a Fit Bit. I was so excited! And then I wasn’t. It’s been collecting dust in a drawer ever since. Well not no more!
After a fun summer of eating, drinking, beaching and overall gluttony – I’m done. For the love of God and my zippers, I’m done.
I’m putting it out there so I can’t back out. From now on, my Fit Bit and I are attached to the hip. Or the wrist. She goes where I go! I’ve assigned her a gender and have already started talking to her. That’s what you do right?
So here I am at the beginning.
0 steps.
0 calories burned.
0 everything.
I’ve got nowhere to go but up. I mean down.
Wish me luck.

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Rainy days and Mondays

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It’s almost the end of July. Eastern Pennsylvania has once again turned into the tropics.

I know today isn’t Monday. I was going to post this yesterday but then I got roped into watching American Ninja Warrior.

Have you seen that show?

I like to have a bowl of ice cream while I watch. Which is also how I watch The Biggest Loser. I’m a rebel like that.

Have a good week everyone!

(my hydrangea plants didn’t die in the heat!)

Big Mac without the Mac

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Actually, this is a Whopper no meat.

I couldn’t help myself today. I needed something from a drive-thru window. I didn’t need to supersize it or make it a meal. But I really wanted this sandwich.

Did you know that McDonald’s and Burger King all have veggie versions of their famous sandwiches? Not a veggie patty (ewwwww). I’m talking all the goodness of the burger with none of the meat. The meat is the goodness you say? Meh.

Don’t be fooled. These aren’t healthy by any means. I may have knocked out a few thousand calories, but there’s more where that came from.

Give it a shot next time. I promise you won’t be disappointed.  Well – you might be. If you need beef in your burgers you’ll be disappointed.

(ps –  I like raw onions. I don’t get to eat them often because I don’t live alone in the wilderness. but I like them. alot.)

Anyway – what did you have for lunch?

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Crushing on clementines

Thought I’d share my favorite weirdo way to eat clementines (current household obsession), oranges, melons (including the water variety) and mangos.

All you need is: fruit of the moment, salt and pepper

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Can you guess what you do next? Yep. That’s it.

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It’s so freaking good. Trust me. Sometimes I use red chili powder instead of black pepper – but I didn’t want to blow your mind.

There you are. Happy Birthday. Merry Christmas. From me to you.

 

 

“lunch”

Some days I feed my kids fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.  They wake up to homemade pancakes, have a balanced lunch and go to bed after a healthy dinner.

Other days I have back to back work calls and they are left to their own devices. My girl will whip up some PB&J sandwiches for the boy, or he’ll have whatever assortment of fiber laden food he can find in the pantry (did I tell you about his obsession with raisins, oatmeal and apples. Good for his little body, not so good for our septic system. We have 3 bathrooms in our house and 4 plungers. Sorry. Had to go there. He’s cute, but he’s deadly).

Then there are total and complete fail days. Days when I start working at 6am and forget that I have to feed anyone until I’m dragging them through Target at lunch and they start foaming at the mouth for “beef” hot dogs and disgusting blue ice drinks.

Guess which day today was?

Love, Mother of the Year. Again.

Sweet sweet summer

It’s hot here.  Really hot.  Frizzy hair hot.  The kind of hot that only a large body of water can help.  Not that I would ever swim in an ocean, or a pool – but that’s another story.

Anyway, it’s this heat that inspired this post.  My kids, like all kids, love the summer.  Their father taught them how to swim – and they do – like fish.  We try to head towards the ocean come July.  When I started looking at some of our old water migration photos – I noticed a trend.  See if you can spot it….or lick it.

I call these – the ice cream chronicles.  From Montauk, to Lake George, to Mexico and Cape Cod.  We’ve eaten treats all over the hemisphere. Like mother like kids. The last two shots were taken by my daughter, who will no longer let me take sloppy food shots of her (doesn’t she love me?).