Does it burn?

I like skincare products the way people like their pets. I’m OBSESSED. And I like them all. I don’t discriminate. Drug store cheapie? Sounds good to me. Expensive beauty product of the moment? Come to mama. I’ll bring them all home. Nurture and love them.

Face masks are all the rage… but I’ve been doing masks since 8th grade. When I discovered that a good layer of Calamine lotion dries on your face and can be lifted off like a mask. I don’t remember what led me to that discovery. Probably a slow tv night.

I get facials at least once a month – which sounds high maintenance but I balance it out by sometimes buying clothes at Costco (shhhhhhhh).

As I’ve written before in my other post (Product Ho), I have no loyalty to products or places of beauty. I’ll go anywhere. And I’ll drop a facialist (that’s a word right? Spellcheck is saying no, but it’s a word) quickly if she tells me I have to be more delicate with my skin. Delicate?? Nope. Sorry. My favorite question when buying most face products is,” does it burn?”.

Most people ask that to confirm that it won’t burn. I am asking with gleeful excitement hoping a layer of skin comes off with use.

That said – none of the stuff I’m using right now is that harsh. The retinol wipes are a bit…chemically… but in a good way.

Here’s what my nighttime/daytime routine looks like. This is what I’m doing while you’re at the gym, or cleaning your homes, or making the world better…

This stuff is awesome! I told you I have to wear make-up now to save my marriage right? So making sure every bit of my Tammy Faye Bakker mascara comes off before I go to bed is essential. This stuff looks and feels like Vaseline going on – but once it touches water it completely changes and dissolves. Taking Tammy right down the drain where she belongs. RIP.

I’ve tried every face scrub on the planet. Kate Somerville makes a $69 one that does the exact same thing this does. Trust me. I started using this the same time I experimented with the Calamine lotion face masks. It’s harsh. It’s drying. Put your big girl pants on and use it.

Kiehl’s has been my moisturizer since my baby girl was born. We lived on the Upper East Side in New York City, home of their original store. I was having a tough time postpartum and needed a pick-me-up. My husband surprised me with a giant bottle of their ultra moisturizer. It’s been what I’ve used every night ever since. I know it’s a bit too oily for some folks – and it does go on like a brick house, but I love it.

Cut to this year – coming back from a work trip with some co-workers and wandering the airport (Dublin airport? Delhi airport?), we found this. It’s like a little bottle of sunshine. For those days when I’m not trying to save my marriage and I don’t wear make-up, I wear this.

I don’t know if I believe in eye cream. But of course I use it every night because of 2 reasons, 1) I’m a slave to marketing and 2) I will fold like a cheap suit when a salesperson tells me a product is great. Why wouldn’t I trust a perfect stranger whose job is to gain commission off what she sells me? Duh. It’s a no-brainer.

Ohhhhh these burn. They burn so good. Ignore your eyes watering. It’ll be fine.

I snuck this in even though it’s not the same genre as the other products because it’s so good! It basically shellacs my face after I put my gobs of make-up on. It’s like laminating yourself for the day. In the words of Ina Garten, “how bad could that be?”.

Thanks for letting me share. What are you using? I need to know. I need to judge. Xoxo

PSA 2016

I use a lot of products. Too many I think. A few months ago I got rid of one of my routines. I no longer buy make-up remover. I’m done. No more wipes, lotions or pads. About 6 months ago I bought thisThis little vat of goodness does it all. It was bought to help me get my feet ready for flip flops. But in the end I started using it for my knees, elbows, lips, you get the picture. Then I read a small line on the back that read,”removes make-up.” So I tried it. 

Guess what? It’s amazing. This and a washcloth and the make-up is gone!

Here’s proof (is this an overshare?)


I know what you’re thinking. I’m a genius! And I wear too much eyeliner. Both true. But it’s better than anything else I’ve tried. 

I’m obsessed. I may or may not carry around smaller amounts of the butter everywhere I go in little Tupperware containers. Embarrassing and yet totally useful.

Ok. Back to your Sunday. PSA over. Xoxo

Public Service Announcement 

Go buy this product ASAP.

  
It’s like a vacuum for dirt. A Hoover for blackheads. Sorry I said blackheads. This is not a paid ad. This is a revelation. I know. I’ve had these before. But I really really mean it this time. Go get it! Or “borrow” it like me.

What’s the best thing about having a teenage daughter? Stealing her beauty products. Is that the answer you were thinking of? No? Oh well.

This product tingled on my face. It may have burned a bit. But that’s what tells me it’s working. It dries on your face to a hard, light shell. Like a layer of cement.

I’m not sure what you are doing this New Year’s Eve…but I’ll be GlamGlowing. Again.

You think my girl will notice her empty jar? I mean I birthed her right? Is sharing a mask too much to ask?

Here’s some selfie overshare. That’s the look of happiness from a product whor…ahem…addict. 

   

Day 4

Sometimes on a Sunday morning, when we aren’t traveling or visiting family I like to go to my favorite place of worship – the blow out bar. No offense to the other places of worship but they don’t make me feel as good.

Do you have a blow out bar near you? Are you hooked? I used to go to my hair salon to get this done – but I always felt a little guilty. Like I was under utilizing the joint. No cut, no color, just a quick 30 minute procedure. A few months ago a friend told me about a new place that opened up near us (ok not NEAR, but you know, next town over). It’s a dream. Walk in walk out.

During my last visit, the stylist told me that I should be able to keep my hair in good condition – no washing – for 4 days. Four days. 96 hours without a shampoo.

I know my sister-in-law Colleen is gagging. She needs to wash her hair every day. I know my husband is wondering when I find time to go (I make time), and I know my friend Howard is reading this post and asking,” what is this F’ing post about?”.

It’s about not washing my hair for 4 days!!!

Here’s how she she convinced me:

  • She said hair goes through cycles, it’s dry then oily then dry. We are so panicked when it gets a little oily that we jump to washing it. But those oils aren’t dirt – your hair needs those oils.
  • Unless you are sweating during a workout or in sand or actual dirt – your hair stays clean a long time. Sweating during a workout. That’s hysterical.
  • If you are really grossed out by day 3 – use a dry shampoo to help refresh (although she thinks it’s not needed)
  • What’s the harm in trying? And you can sleep 20 more minutes. Done.

So I’m on day 4. Does it look as amazing as day 1? No. Do I have to tease it a bit to get some life – oh yes indeed.

I don’t know if I’ll do it again – it was tricky to shower every day without getting it wet. My shower felt incomplete. But extra sleep and no blow dryer in the morning is awful tempting.

Here’s a pic of day 4 (today) – not bad right? Look ma no greys!

Marzipan Momma

I tend to get hooked on scents. Some people are born with long legs, others are blessed with the perfect nose – but I’m blessed with sensitive olfactory glands. Jealous? Usually this isn’t a good thing. I can smell pee (human and animal) miles away. Sorry I said pee. This also means that I can’t take a lot of artificial scents. I’m not an easy to please gal when it comes to candles or lotions. Walking into a Bath and Body Works or Yankee Candle makes me gag. Like gag me with a spoon. Like totally. Do 80s sayings pop in your head 24/7 too? 

I’m not sure how I started down this negative nose road – I really wanted to tell you (probably again) about my complete devotion to L’Occitane’s almond line. It’s the bomb. (Late 90s sayings pop in my head too).

 

  

You may not think you need a shower oil, but you’re wrong. The one thing missing in your life right now is shower oil.

A few weeks ago my friend Rebecca gave me a belated bday present.  Like her, the present was thoughtful, creative and full of the things I love. She called it a survival kit. I haven’t broken into it yet – but I will.    

    
 Do you notice what’s front and center? No, not the tequila, the other thing front and center – a perfect mini L’Occitane lotion. She loves me, she really loves me! 

Make yourself happy and go get some of those products today! Unless you have a tree nut allergy. Or hate almonds and America. 

I know you didn’t ask but…

Get this book.
It’s so much fun. Even though I probably won’t do all these techniques, it’s nice to know they are there. In my early 20s I would have totally used this book as an instructional. Now, in my 40s, I read it like fiction. Cat eyes and blush contouring. Sigh. I love it. I won’t do it, but I love it.
Anyway. Back to your day.

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S&M Skin Care

Exfoliating is life. We’ll, family is life – but for me, exfoliating comes close. I’m a pretty disloyal product person. I find something good, I fall in love, then there’s a general malaise where we drift apart – and then in the words of Jay-Z, I’m on to the next one. I cannot sustain a meaningful relationship with my beauty products. I’m not like that with make-up, I’ve committed to the same bronzer/blush for over 8 years now. It’s the one for me.

I know I’ve told you before, but I like a rough cleanser. I like a rough facial. I love me some chemical peeling action. If layers of skin could fall of by using this product, it’s the one for me. Ironically I don’t like a rough massage. The kind you have to medicate to recover from, I also don’t like rough-housing. Please don’t tackle me, shove me, or push me. I wouldn’t enjoy that. When my husband and I had just started dating, he once threw me into a big pile of garbage in NYC and started laughing hysterically. There had been a blizzard so it looked like a mound of fresh, clean snow. But he knew what was under there. Garbage! I didn’t talk to him for a week. Now that I’m writing this I’m getting angry again. My point is – my skin is more laid back then me.
Last week I splurged and bought a pricier cleaner than I would normally. But I couldn’t help myself. The back of it said,” Caution, may cause skin to tingle and flush. Stop using if you have sensitive skin.” Shhhhh you had me at Caution.

Here’s the product – Kate Somerville’s Exfolikate. A harsh cleanser with a sense of humor. I tried it. I’m in love. For now.

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