This land is your land…

04 Jul 2021 4 Comments

by wifemothereventplanner in Brave New World Tags: , , , , , , ,

We were on vacation out West this week and the hotel we stayed at had this beautiful flag up. I could see it from the pool I spent some quality time in. I thought about it a lot.

I’ve always loved the flag. I’ve always loved this country. Even though I wasn’t born here, I consider this my home. I was naturalized here. Became a citizen here. As I’ve said in other posts, I spent the majority of my childhood wanting to pretend I was from nowhere else. It didn’t work.

I’ve traveled to my share of other countries, including the one I was born in. Those places are amazing. I want to see more places all over the world. But then I want to come home. To America.

I’ve only seriously considered moving to one other country (hello Ireland!), but there’s no Dunkin’. So there goes that.

In the last few years I’ve noticed a big change. I didn’t know if it was just me or not. I’m feeling like I’m on the wrong team to love the flag. Like unless I agree with a certain ideology or belief system, the flag isn’t for me.

I asked some good friends their opinion on this to make sure I wasn’t just overthinking it. Overthinking is my superpower.

One of them, whose family has been here since and fought in the Revolutionary War, told me she feels the same way.

Another, whose father and grandfather were in the military, told me that they were disgusted with the way the flag was being used. No real veteran wants to pit Americans against each other.

I should be able to fly the flag proudly and still be ok questioning laws, people, policy etc. That’s how it all began here. From day one. British rule, fleeing Pilgrims and slaughtered Indians… remember?

That flag has been through a lot. And I’m sure we’ve got more changes coming.

But I’m pretty confident that the flag isn’t just for some Americans. Flying it doesn’t mean you love your country the most – and not flying it, kneeling in front of it or turning your back to it doesn’t mean you hate it. It’s bigger and deeper than that.

I think all this mess started with this “melting pot” business. Newsflash- melting together isn’t working people! The emulsification isn’t taking. We’re too different. Too unique in our own ways to blend together.

Plus we’re all so problematic. We have a ton of issues. There’s lots of learning to do. So we will never be a true pot of melted goodness.

So what. That’s fine. Let’s be stew. Big, sloppy chunks of different ingredients coming together to form one nation, under God or Bravo. With one flag. My flag. And your flag too 🇺🇸.

5 Star Problems but a **** ain’t one

05 Mar 2013 3 Comments

by wifemothereventplanner in Brave New World Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I have a problem.

A Tripadvisor problem.

It happens every year.

At about this time, my mind and body starts craving/dreaming/needing a vacation. Somewhere different. Preferably to a place where trains are called metros and where you can stay in a flat instead of an apartment. Or maybe a tropical turquoise retreat where I can drink from a coconut and lay on beach.

A place where I can be Vacation Mom and Vacation Wife. The one that doesn’t worry and nag and yell and order. The one that lets you buy obscenely pricey gum from the gift shop and stay up until you feel like falling asleep. The one that doesn’t care if anyone has brushed their teeth or combed their hair. She’s awesome. I miss her.

But in order to transform into this groovy, go-with-the-flow chick we need to get the hell out of dodge first.

And in order to do that we need to find a place to go.

And every time we find a place I am compelled to that damn website to check out the reviews.

It never ends well for me.

Everyone has an opinion, and I read every last one.

MaryS from Wichita thinks the rooms at a certain resort in Puerto Rico aren’t clean enough.

George from New Jersey didn’t like any of the restaurants but loved the pool at his hotel in Hawaii.

clevergirl8 from Texas loved Peru but had a horrible time with customs at the airport.

I try to focus on just the positive. You can’t make everyone happy, I say to myself.

But then I toss and turn and doubt. And doubt.

Are people just really really picky?

I realize that I could never have been one of those people backpacking through Europe or Asia or Idaho. I need research. Data. Background. I need to know that others have gone before me and had a good time. Or not.

So we’ll make our plans for vacation and it’ll be very exciting, but deep down I’ll be thinking about MikeP from Albany, who thought Dublin was beautiful except for the hotel concierge who was a bit grumpy the whole time.

I give Tripadvisor.com 3 out of 5 stars. Lots of consumer information which usually results in the firm knowledge that no matter where you are going or what you are doing – it could have been better somewhere else.

Embrace the Strange

14 Jul 2012 Leave a comment

by wifemothereventplanner in Guest Post Tags: , , , , , , ,

Guest post by my seester. I love any blog that uses Willow Smith and Susan Cain.  I’ve seen Susan live and she’s fantastic – and more corporations would have happier employees if they would listen to her – just sayin’.

Strangeness has been on my mind lately. I know that sounds…(I won’t say it)…weird, but it’s made me pretty emotional this morning, so I want to share. I followed a link from Design*Sponge (a really cool design blog that has just gotten better over the years) to Willow Smith’s new single, “I Am Me.” Since I don’t have cable and I don’t really listen to contemporary pop music or the radio, I’d never heard it before. It might not even be new now, I guess. It’s all about Willow embracing who she is, regardless of those who criticize her music or fashion decisions.

While I was watching it, I couldn’t help but think that Willow is strange. She doesn’t dress like the typical tween, her hair is shaved very close to her head, and she is a t.w.i.g. In the video, Willow actually looks like a young Will. The fact that I noticed (and I’m the last to register these sorts of things) got me thinking of our very narrow perception of beauty. You have to be white, or a minority with very European features: small boobs, small butt, angular features, straight hair (full disclosure: I only have the small butt, which just makes jeans shopping a chore). If you’re a girl, you need to look feminine.

Now you may be thinking, “DUH,” but I think what’s so powerful about this is how deeply rooted this thinking is in our global culture. Indians value light skin and European features just as much as Americans do, and I’m sure other minority cultures are the same. So what Willow is doing—flaunting her Strangeness—is really impressive because it’s having a “global” impact.

Yesterday I watched Susan Cain give a TED Talk called “The Power of Introverts,” all about how our society seems to hold extroverts and extrovert qualities on a pedestal (group work, group think, etc), when really anywhere from a third to a half of our population is made up of introverts who just don’t function as successfully in groups. Again, it had made me think about how such people are called strange for what is essentially a biological quality. How messed up is that?!

I don’t know how we go about changing such a deeply rooted problem, but isn’t step one recognition? Isn’t step two conversation? I think I made that one up, but it sounds appropriate. So parents: please share these two videos with your children, and tell them to embrace what’s strange about themselves. But remember that you have to do it too.

Here’s the Willow Smith video. If, like me, you cry if a butterfly flaps its wings in Japan, grab a Kleenex before you watch. Also, this made me think of the “Everybody Hurts” video for some reason.

And here’s the TED talk: