Nanook of The Northeast

My first bathroom selfie! What took me so long? It’s adorable. Look how slimming the long mirror is. Anyway that’s not what this post is about. It’s about my coat. Not a coat of many colors, but a coat of much girth and fabric. Isn’t it fantastic? My husband called me a character from Star Wars – I can’t remember the name but it’s the people all wrapped up like Wookies. Maybe he called me a Wookie…

Someone else commented that it looks like a sleeping bag. Yes! Exactly the look I was going for. Seriously. It’s been so wacky in the Northeast weather wise. One day it’s 60 degrees, and the next it’s 6. I needed a coat that did me right. That wouldn’t let me down. Get it. Down. I don’t mind being warm or even hot, I can take it. I don’t love it, but I’m tropical – I get over it. What I can’t stand is being cold. And guess who is never cold in this coat? This guy!

Is it attractive? God no. Would I wear it if I was a young, single gal out on the town? Who knows, I’ve never been young and single. And I certainly have never been out on the town.

Did you hear about the passengers stuck for 30 hours on the cold Amtrak in Oregon? I could’ve kept the whole train warm under here. Those are the exact kind of emergencies I bought this coat for. That and going to Target early on Saturdays. I could be wearing pajamas under here and no one would be able to tell.

Surprisingly this coat wasn’t that expensive – which probably means most people want nothing to do with it – but that’s just fine with me. Here’s one of me with the hood on and a giant scarf to go with my giant coat.

That’s really all I wanted to tell you today. I gotta go now and take more bathroom selfies. xoxo

Things that are currently driving me crazy…

1) How much I talk about weather.

2) Someone (my husband) threw the stick part of my wet Swiffer out and even though it took me months to realize it, I wanted to use it today and now I can’t.

3) Jussie Smollet. Why?? You won the lottery. You are an actor with a full-time job. A steady paycheck. Probably enough money to change the way you were living. Why. WHY throw it all away with a career-ending stunt?? In the words of Cardi B,” you ruined Black History Month bro”.

4) Jordyn Woods. Why?? You won the lottery. Your best friend is a billionaire. She’s letting you live her life with her. Not enough? WHY?? Krazy with a Kardashian K.

5) Can someone invent a pantry door that shuts itself? It may save the lives of the people who live at my house.

6) Abducted in Plain Sight omg. OMG. Two hours of shouting at the TV.

Thank you for listening. Happy Weekend everyone!

I think this means I’m a psycho

I’m back! Did you miss me? Did you even know I was not blogging? Anyway, let your fears subside. I’m here. And I’m going to share a dark, deep secret.

I love getting a box of chocolates. Forrest was right, I love not knowing what you’re gonna get.

What I don’t like is sharing the box. I like my own box. And I don’t want to feel pressured to eat the whole piece of chocolate.

Sometimes I eat half, leave the rest, and maybe come back the next day. It’s not pretty. But that’s what I like to do.

Some people think I do this so I don’t have to share. That’s not true. I mean it’s true I don’t want to share, I said that already, but that’s not why I do it.

Why do I do it? I’m not sure. I know it’s indulgent. But it’s my box of chocolates. So judge me if you want. Or go get your own box and do what I do. You know you want to.

Blanket love

This is not an ad. This is my favorite napping blanket. This is the company we found a few years ago in Woodstock, Vermont. Maybe it was more than a few years ago. We loved it so much we bought many other people this blanket. If you didn’t get one and want one, and are related to me or plan to buy me something nice – tell me and I’ll get you one too.

It’s attractive enough. But that’s not the reason you love it. The reason you love it is that it’s heavy. I know weighted blankets are all the rage now, but this is naturally heavy. You sink deeper into the coach or chair when it’s on you. This is not the blanket you want if you’re binge watching a show, or curling up with a good book. You’ll be snoring 5 minutes in. Not that that’s a bad thing.

It’s like anesthesia.

And if you’re like me, you enjoy anything that makes you numb, sleepy and out of it.

Or maybe you’re not like me and you like to live life, do things and feel all emotions. To each his own.

I literally just yawned writing this.

Happy weekend.