I got a call this morning from an oldie but goodie pal who is finally tying the knot with her longtime beloved. I met her at my very first job out of school. I think my major responsibilities were getting scones and coffee for our CEO, but I digress.
The last time I spoke to her was a few years back, when I wasn’t working full-time and had decided to start a wedding planning business. And because I’m an awful person, I haven’t reached out to her since. Although she hasn’t reached out to me either, so technically our joint awfulness cancels itself out. Right?
She called me this morning because she wanted to go over pricing for her caterer, but our conversation quickly went to every single detail of her plans. That’s how I roll. I need to be fully immersed. No toe dipping for me.
As we chatted she asked me the question that all the brides ask, “what was your wedding like?”.
What was my wedding like? It was grand. It was great. It was…a non-wedding.
We eloped. On a lake. In the sun. Without most of our friends and family.
Here’s the long story short – or the short story long:
We got engaged on a cold, rainy February night in NYC (very romantic night involving fighting, crying and celebrating). I’m not sure if it was because I was in my early twenties and insane or because I was in my early twenties and genius – but I wasn’t stressed about the wedding planning at all. I was super chill actually. Then my mother called and said it would be great to have a Hindu ceremony. Then my mother-in-law called and said it would be so nice if we could do a quick trip to the church after that ceremony to get blessed by the priest. So then I got stressed. I avoided thinking/planning/discussing the wedding for a few months. Then my boss, the one I fed scones and coffee to, told me they had to fire 2 people from the office and I’d have to cover for them all summer and wouldn’t be able to take too much time off. Then I freaked. Then I melted. It was mid-May. It was Saturday afternoon. We hatched a plan. We would elope. Run away. To Eastern Long Island.
We didn’t handle the elopement in the best way. There aren’t any elopement planning books. It sounds easy, but it’s tricky. Ok, it’s easy if you actually just go off and elope. We f’d it up.
We had some family there. Some not. We took tons of photos and even a video, thanks to a talented uncle that lived in the town by the lake. We went out to dinner that night with all the relatives that lived in the town. In hindsight, a bit confusing for the relatives who didn’t live in that town and who weren’t invited to dinner. We gave our parents a heads-up, they were totally fine and understanding. The rest of the family? Not so much. It wasn’t an elopement really. It was a small wedding where we chose not to include my parents, his parents, our other sisters (his older sister was there as a witness), aunts, uncles,cousins and close friends. It was ugly.
It’s been 17 years and we still hear about it. On a positive note – we’re still married. There’s that.
So! If you want to chat about your wedding plans? I’m your gal. If you want to talk about how to elope? Google it.
here’s us on that special, messed up, beautiful, ill-conceived, completely imperfect perfect day…