The suck-it-up gene

The other day some very smart ladies and I had a quick workday lunch.  We talked about world peace, how to save the economy, the usual stuff we tackle when we get together….ah hem.  But then the conversation moved to the men in our lives. Our very significant others.

I was rehashing/retelling a short story about my husband’s complete lack of “suck-it-up”.  It’s like he’s missing the gene.  He’s a good man and I love him to bits – but that boy cannot make a bad situation better.  He’s better at spotlighting or highlighting or magnifying that bad situation.  To be fair – if you asked him – he’d say I was a “head-in-the-clouds” Pollyanna.  And I am. It takes a lot for me to think badly about something or someone. I go with the flow. He’s like a big, tall building blocking the flow.

The reason I fell for the guy is that he’s always been decisive and determined. And in all honestly, loads of good things have happened to us because he won’t stand for things going wrong.  Better dinners, easier weekends, stronger kids, etc. He’s got a mission. All the time. When that mission goes astray – he’s upset and not afraid to show it.

Not me –  I meander. I stroll. If something goes wrong, my first instinct is to see the positive from it. It’s very Asian of me. It’s not always a good thing and it’s exhausting.

You know that fight or flight instinct? I would always flight.  In other words, if aliens landed tomorrow, I would not be the gal joining the rebellion and fighting back. I’d be the one thinking,”gee, maybe the world will be better post invasion.” or “I wonder what they eat?”.

So he may be missing the gene, but I’m knee-deep in it.  I’m not sure which one is better.

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Christine.
    Jul 24, 2012 @ 10:50:03

    I think you’re both right and to be honest, it would be pretty boring if you were both the same. I think females are far more diplomatic and have great tact but you fell in love with the decisive man for a reason and they do say ‘Opposites attract.’ Nothing wrong with that. If aliens landed tomorrow I’d be like ‘Oh, I wonder where they’re going to live.’ Or ‘I hope their spaceship doesn’t park in my space!’ Ha ha. Great post. 🙂


  2. Kathy
    Jul 24, 2012 @ 13:51:48

    you are so right on…there just has to be the ying and the yang in every relationship… I’m the more obsessive one in our relationship…I sometimes insists that the round peg can fit into the the square hole…and I will NOT give up until it does…whereas my mindfulness monk partner will go with the ebb and the flow of the universe….seeesh!


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