It’s none of my business and no one asked me but…

We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog to bring you breaking gossip or at least, my opinion of breaking gossip.

Katie Holmes dumped Tom Cruise.  All the (trashy) articles are saying that it was Scientology that did it.  That she was being controlled and didn’t want Suri to grow up trapped.  That she needed to get away from Tom.

WTF.  Where do I begin….

  • Why is everyone so freaked out by Scientology? Why is Scientology any stranger than God being born by a pregnant virgin? I don’t think it’s that weird, although I grew up in a house that had a different God for every day of the week.
  • Suri is a little alien baby, but she’s gorgeous and happy – so who cares
  • Correct me if I’m wrong but what part of Katie Holmes’ life was oppressive?  The vacation homes in Belize and St. Tropez? The designer duds? The endless luxury? Being friends with Will/Jada AND the Beckham’s? I have at least 20 more questions but I’ll spare you.
  • What was Katie busy doing before they got together? Dawson’s Creek was over – she did a couple of cool indie flicks – but other than that…snooze.
  • Tom Cruise.  I like him. I always have.  I like his movies – good, bad and Valkyrie.  I could be very happily married to him and his wacky religion.  And isn’t he gone most of the year? All we ever see are pictures of her walking around with Suri going to ice cream shops and cupcake shops. Although you never see Katie eating anything. Ever.
  • Yes, it’s a very big possibility that Tom is gay.  Even better!  Pressure’s off Katie.  Go have a life, hire a pool boy (or 3) and have some fun.
  • Before Tom, Katie was engaged to Chris Klein.  Don’t know him? ‘Nuff said.
  • Wanna know my ultimate theory on Hollywood romances and why they fail? Hunger. I think they are all hungry.  The men and the women.  Hollywood would have longer marriages if they would all just have a bagel.

7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sean Breslin
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 08:39:58

    I think all Hollywood marriages are fake. They stay together just long enough, and when the public gets bored of them, they split. It’s how they keep the attention on them.

    Reply

  2. wifemothereventplanner
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 08:42:28

    Sean – I know you’re right but I’m the fool that falls for it every time!

    Reply

  3. thatfunnyblogguy
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 08:55:39

    Their separation explains why they havent called me in while. I should have been a more supportive friend to both of them. Tom. Katie. I’m sorry.

    Reply

  4. semperfimarketing
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 09:41:25

    Loved this blog. Not a Katie fan huh?

    Reply

  5. mregenwether
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 12:09:58

    I loved this!!

    Reply

  6. Kerry's Organized Chaos
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 12:27:43

    HA! Yes, they probably are hungry. I think it failed because she was at the end of the contracted time she had to be with him to help revive his career and put him back on top. She got career help out of it to. BTW, Chris Klein, from my hometown, a local boy from Omaha, Nebraska! Maybe she’ll get back with him or someone her age…

    Reply

  7. Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants
    Jul 10, 2012 @ 22:28:03

    I’ve been a fan of the ‘Tom is Gay’ theory for a long time. Probably after I saw him jumping on Oprah’s couch. Your the only other person I’ve heard say it.

    Reply

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