I only believe it happened because I was there

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We were late for soccer again.
Know why?
Because my son’s thumb was stuck in a soda can.
Why was he drinking a soda?
Because I said no to him 4,999 times and I just didn’t feel like saying no anymore.
Why did he stick his thumb into the opening of the can?
Because it was there.
Why is he smiling in the photo?
Because I swore like a truck driver while I inched it out.
Know what he said to me when we freed him?
“Can I have another soda after practice?”
Good night.

Comedy of Errors without the Comedy

It was a simple plan.

Friday night my son had soccer practice at 6:30. I was going to drop him off, watch a bit of practice and leave.

My daughter and a friend had to go to a dance at 7:00. And by had to I mean they would have LITERALLY died without going to this dance.

My husband planned to get home from work by 6:30, join me at the soccer field so I could take off and he could take him home.

We were meeting some friends for dinner at 7:30.

We can do this. We’ve done this before, like, a million times. I’ll drop off the boy. My husband will pick him up, buy him dinner, bring him to a friend’s for a sleepover, and go straight to the restaurant. I will drop off the girls  (another mom was doing pick-up) and meet at the restaurant. All’s well.

Then here’s what happened.

When I got to the soccer field I couldn’t find our team. I know that sounds insane – but it’s a sea of 9 year boys running around a football field. And they don’t wear their uniforms for practice – thanks for asking. It also turned out that they moved from our usual spot to the back field. Anyhoo, we didn’t get there till 6:45.

At 6:50 my husband called to say there is terrible traffic. He’s not making it to the field by 7:15.

No worries, I say. I’ll stay at the field and take him back, you (I’m looking at you husband), take the girls to the dance.

Small caveat that I had to fill him in on. On the way to the dance, you have to stop by another kid’s house and pick him up too.

Another small caveat I had to fill him in on. The dance was in the next town over.

As every wife and mother out there knows, there are certain details of how we get our day done which are on a “Need to Know” basis.

“Why didn’t I know that this dance wasn’t in our town?” he asks.

“What? Who are we picking up? Where?” he shouts.

Need to know baby. As in up until now, you didn’t need to know.

I’ll spare you the “spirited” discussion and “colorful” language that flowed like water from both of us. Did I mention that we never remembered to call our friends and say we’d be late?

We did make it to dinner – at 7:45. Not bad for a total breakdown of plans and routine.

Thankfully our dinner companions laughed off the lateness when we told them our tale of woe. You see, they have grown kids, and I’m sure they were thinking,” you think it’s bad now…wait until next year.”

But they didn’t tell us that. It’s on a “Need to Know” basis.

 

 

 

Peace out 2012

It’s been a year hasn’t it?  I won’t go into a list of resolutions (because I don’t have any) or  tell you about the happy, tragic, ridiculous things that have happened in the world this year.  You can google those.  But personally, for me and my fam, this year has been full of change. We leapt into high school, turned 40, let a teenager join Facebook, agreed to let a 9 year play football, saw the Eiffel tower, mended some broken fences (literally and figuratively), discovered gel manicures, skipped Fall Ball and did not feel guilty about it, and oh yeah – started a blog.

I  needed a hobby, something besides eating. Last year, around this time, I started thinking about WMEP.  In all honesty, I started the blog to write about event planning. After all, it’s what I do, it’s what I love. But then I began thinking about blog titles – and defining myself as just a planner didn’t fit. Something was off.  I read a few blogs on how to start blogs.  Then, like the true spaz that I am, I read blogs on how to blog successfully. What kind of blog did I want to be? Funny? Informative? Personal? Lots of pressure. I didn’t tell anyone about it at first, but eventually I owned up to my husband.  I told him that in order to make it interesting – I may have to put some personal family stuff out into the universe. With photos. Because I’m convinced people need a visual. Or is that just me? He told me to go for it (with a few caveats).  And so I did. It took me a few months to get my act together, to get back to writing, to do something that was literally just for me.  And I loved it. I love it.

In the beginning I wrote every day – or tried to. It’s been harder the last few months, work and stress and life seem to be taking up all my time. But it’s the start of a new year, I’ve been writing since last April. 178 posts. Over 16,000 views. Almost a 1,000 comments. I’m hooked!

So maybe I will make a resolution for 2013. I resolve to blog every day. Or at least every other day. Every week at the latest.

I resolve to write something in 2013 at some time.

See how tough I am?

We toasted the New Year in last night with shrimp and champagne. Hope you were toasted too.

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The Incident

 

Insert “Law & Order” music…..

7:30pm.  Thursday night.  8-year-old boy comes into the house sheepishly.  Whispers in his mother’s ear to come out to the driveway.  Mother, still traumatized by the glitter quietly follows.  Her son leads her to the car, her new car. At first it looks like a reflection.  Then she opens the door of said car and stares. The boy is saying “sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry”  The mother doesn’t even ask what happened.

    plus     equals…..

 

    

All those involved have been brought to justice.

I’m here for the fresh air….

My son loves playing baseball, football, basketball – we don’t know where he came from.  Maybe there was a dormant athletic gene or something.

Every Saturday morning, you’ll find us at his baseball game (all except my 13-year-old girl, who is just waking from her REM cycle at 11am).  It’s so much fun.  We bring snacks and coffee and we kvetch with the other parents (You don’t know kvetching?  Google it. You’ve done it. I live for it).  Thank goodness there are moms and dads out there who volunteer their time and skills to help our little men – either on the field or on the sidelines.

If it was left to me – the only thing my son would learn is that Derek Jeter of the Yankees wears the #2 jersey like him…I know that because he went out with Minka Kelly and they always showed him in his uniform in People Magazine.  Are they still together?  They were so off and on – and she’s so young….I digress.

I don’t know an inning from an outing – but I love going.  Good game, bad game, he doesn’t care.  He just wants to be in the game.

Some photo disclosures:  Those pants are bleached clean after every game.  2 seconds after we drive up to the field, he looks like a wildling.  Our coach is the state rep.  He sponsored the t-shirts so our boys are a walking/talking billboard for several months.  Could have been worse.  The local funeral home sponsors a team too.

  

    

Is a fair weather fan better than no fan at all?

     

(Doesn’t that title remind you of something Carrie would start her column off with on Sex and The City?  No? Just me?  Ok then….)

Although we live in Phillies country – we are Yankees fans all the way.  I mean…. we’re all the way once they get to the playoffs, or series, or bowl or whatever.  I married one of the few men in the world who is not a sports fanatic (he saves his obsessive behavior for music and technology).

When we had kids, he taught them all the important things:  Bruce Springsteen is a god, Elton John/Bernie Taupin are the best singer/song writer collaboration, the sound system in a car/house/yard/bar makes or breaks a good time, etc.

My girl was 12 before she knew who A-Rod was, and that was only because I had talked about his break-up with Cameron Diaz.  I was rooting for them.  Although I’m always rooting for Cameron, I have a soft spot for her.

Anyway – when my son was born, things started changing.  He loves all things baseball, basketball, football, he’s all over it. He wears only “sporty” clothes (no jeans or khakis, incase a freestyle game breaks out on the playground at recess).

So, to be fair-minded parents who don’t just hurl our own likes and dislikes on the kids – we became kinda-sorta fans of many different sports teams.  In the end, the only one that stuck were the Bronx Bombers.

Last summer, we took our kids to their (and my) first Yankee game.  It was super exciting.  The new stadium is beautiful – and the food!  Why didn’t anyone tell me about the food!!  Peanuts and Cracker Jack?  No way!  How about garlic fries with chipotle aioli …. how about double dark chocolate milk shakes with malted whipped cream…how about IPA’s from all over the East Coast?!!  Baseball rocks.

The game was good too.  Who played against them that night?  It was Baltimore, or Boston, or Birmingham I think.  It was a B name for sure.  Who won?  Hard to remember all those details.

Back to the initial question – is a fair weather fan better than no fan at all?  What if I told you we bought ridiculously expensive sporting attire to wear to the game?  Would that help our fandom?

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