I’ve fallen and I can’t get up

I bought the wrong chicken.
Because I went to a big bulk store, I bought a lot of the wrong chicken.
I blame the universe.
I blame the gods.
I blame tenderloins because they look like chicken breasts.
Hmm? Look at the label you say?
Shut it.
So I needed to return it quickly.
I grabbed it, grabbed my keys and bolted out the door.
And landed face front on the front step.
Actually I fell into a bush first.
It broke my fall.
And then I landed on the front step.
My keys and my package of wrong chicken landed around me.
We were a sight.
If a vegetarian falls with some chicken did a vegetarian really fall at all?
So there I was. On the ground. Yelping for help.
And now here I am.

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Did I trip? Did I miss a step?
No idea. I just went down like a big old elm. Timber!
It’s not so bad.
I’m icing.
I’m elevating.
I’m Advil’ing
Waaaa!!
Come on 2013!

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