The point of this blog is?

When I sit down to write this blog – usually very late into the night or very early in the morning – I debate about the things I want to tell you.  Do I share my political and sociological views? Do I tell you an amusing (to me) story about my kiddies or husband? Do I use it as a pulpit to voice my very strong opinions on restaurants not buttering toast anymore (an outrage!)?

I do have stories of my semi-twisted childhood to share – and other stories of how I’m making a semi-twisted childhood for my own kids – but then something silly happens. And I need to let you know. Immediately.

Yesterday I went to go get the mail. And hilarity ensued. Not really.

We are very fortunate to have good neighbors – I’ve heard plenty of horror stories to know that.  As I’m getting the mail, I ran into our fantastic retired neighbor walking her dog. She stopped to chat – I have a ton in common with retired folks. Mentally I’m half way there.

As we chatted, I opened the mailbox.  The only thing we’d gotten is our Restoration Hardware Fall catalog.  She stopped talking.  ”Is that a magazine?”, she asked.  Um. Nope. It’s a home good store…”I’ve never seen a catalog so thick. It’s like a dictionary!” She was horrified. “Isn’t that awful how they waste paper.” “I’m shocked that in this day and age of going green stores still waste their money on that.” I clutched the book harder and harder as she talked. I was nodding the whole time, giving her the appearance of solidarity.  We laughed about the craziness of it all and I told her I was just as shocked.

But inside. Deep inside. I loved the catalog. I wished it were twice as thick. Killing twice as many trees.

We said our goodbyes and I quickly went back inside to flip through every inch of that evil thing.

This is why I can’t write about national and global issues.  When I sit down and think about the things you need to know – stuff like this climbs right to the top.  I have very smart friends and family who tell me they could never write a blog – too much work. To them I say, behold. A post about…a very thick catalog.  I’m pretty sure a monkey could do this.

Here’s the culprit that derailed what would have been a very smart and intellectual post. Not.

*please note that the Ikea catalogs are thicker, but smaller in overall size.

 

 

 

 

 

Design Envy

Did I ever tell you that I work from home? I do. It’s swell.

Last summer, when I decided to make the switch, my husband suggested we convert our guest room into a home office. We ripped up the old carpet, put down wood floors, got rid of our old futon, painted the room, bought a sofa bed, desk and chair and then…nothing. I haven’t done another thing to it.  I sit there staring at blank walls and no window coverings.  I did buy a cool rug – but it’s way too small for the room.

 

Blank space in our house is no surprise.  The walls in my living, dining room and family room were empty for a good 3 years after we moved in.  Even now people use the words “open” “uncluttered” and “low-key” to describe the house, when I think they really mean “undecorated” “unadorned” “sterile” and “boring”.  We do have pictures of our kids up – a LOT of pictures – but that doesn’t count.

I watch those HGTV shows and get mildly inspired to do something different. And then – nothing.

You know what doesn’t help? A husband who would live in a plain, white box if he could.  His idea of clutter is what normal people call living.

Sorry – displacing my anger. It’s not his fault. I just have decorating paralysis (except at Christmas – when I turn into Holly Holiday and it looks like the North Pole threw-up in my house).

One of my good friends in NYC knows how to do it. She’s got an amazing eye for all things beautiful.  When I had gone to see her a few weeks ago, I secretly snapped these photos. I’m sure she won’t mind me sharing them with the world (on that note, welcome to my blog Israel and the Netherlands, I’m glad to have you!).

A few years ago she went on a camping trip out west and took some amazing shots. She’s a great photog too – annoying right?

She simply enlarged the photo and had it printed on canvas. Perfect. Why can’t I do that? Well, I can. But will I? Probably not.

Try to ignore the stunning woodwork on the walls, the beautiful club chairs and country bench and focus on the canvas art.

 

She had it done through one of the many websites doing canvas printing. I love it. I hereby promise to do something creative and fun with my home! Maybe.

She also had a smaller one done for the entry hall – this is another one of her photographs.

You should see her kitchen. So great. I couldn’t take a secret picture of that because she was in there the whole time.

There’s always my next visit.

Sick, Twisted and Funny – to me

We’ve had some really freaky weather lately.  Have you noticed? You know what I notice? Now that I’m 40, I talk about weather all the time.  All of a sudden, weather is primary in my life.

Anyway, we’ve had some storms.  These storms made me think of last year’s storms.  A couple of them were strong enough to wreak havoc and mayhem.   During a particularly bad night – we woke up to find our backyard a mess.  Another umbrella dead, table upside down, chairs turned over. Pier One cushions torn from chairs – it was ugly. You get the picture – but just in case, I took a picture.

A few months later, we had a nice little family BBQ in the backyard.  It was loads of fun. One of our good friends couldn’t make it – and because I think I’m hilarious – I sent her the below.  Yes it’s two different seasons, didn’t care. Still funny. Well, to me.

Here’s a text by text:

Me:  So sorry you missed the fun – here’s a before and after shot from the party!! xoxo!

Her: What’s wrong with you?

Me: I’m a loser

Her: A big one

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