Mista Mayor

Photo Circa 1994. Me and then newly minted Mayor of NYC , Rudolph Giuliani. We were at the Pen & Sword Honor Society dinner at my college, he was the keynote that night, and an alum.  It took me all night to work up the nerve to go meet him… when I finally did, all I could say was,” My birthday is May 28th too!”. He just smiled and laughed. I think a security guard moved in closer and someone took the picture. That was it. Not sure how I got into the honor society. Here’s my main observations about this photo:

  • I rocked that tuxedo top I borrowed from my roommate.
  • Those earrings weren’t even close to being the biggest ones I owned.
  • See that hair…that’s my pre-marriage, pre-babies, frizz free, never-touched-a-flat-iron hair. I would trade one of my kids for that hair now.
  • Not sure why I felt the need to wear white eye shadow – maybe to draw extra attention to my unkept brows?
  • What I remember most about the night is that I was too chicken to tell the waiter I didn’t eat chicken – and since I wouldn’t eat anything on the plate with the chicken I hid in the bathroom until dessert was served.

Good times.

Freak like me?

I’ve already told you all that I’m nosey.  I need to know stuff.  Stuff like….what’s in your refrigerator?

I have no interest in your medicine cabinet.  I don’t care how many carats your ring is or how much you paid for your house.  You know what’s fascinating to me?  People who don’t have milk and orange juice in the fridge.  Wild right?  I imagine them living bohemian lives and living off the grid.  Too much? Real Magazine used to have a regular feature on celebrity refrigerators, which I loved, even though many of them were identical to each other (no food, water, champagne, diet coke, no food).

I think it says a lot about a person/family/unit.  For example, you’d think we were farmers with all the diary we’ve got hanging around.

I grew up with a mom who made every meal from scratch.  Her fridge, even today, looks like it could feed a small country.  She also does not subscribe to universal expiration date rules (milk and juice? check!)

I have a dear friend who lives in NYC who has the most amazing galley kitchen.  Her fridge is a man’s dream.  Just enough food, booze and pork product to make a dude happy (she always has milk and orange juice, fyi).

Here’s what we have going on.

   

  

 

Coffee-mate:  essential to my happy life.

That’s a big tub of sour cream…not sure what that’s all about.

GoGurt: if you don’t have kids, you’ll be disgusted.  If you have kids, all hail Spongebob GoGurt!

Two types of chocolate sauce, both really fake and really good.

Baby Ray’s BBQ Sauce: put it on cardboard, everyone will eat it up (except me, bbq sauce reminds me of meat, even when it’s on other things).

Cheese….blue, feta, cheddar – we do not discriminate in this house.

 

Am I the only weirdo into this?  Don’t answer that.

Kosher Hibachi…not so much

I’m a vegetarian. I’ve always been one. My parents are both veggies too. My sister ventured to the dark side during her teen years, but we got her back eventually. It’s really no big deal. I’m well fed – over nourished actually. I’m pretty easy going about the whole thing. My kids both eat meat and fish and fowl – I’ve already explained their Irish/Ukrainian background which demands consumption of many different types of sausage. I have no problem cooking for all different folks, save the Vegans who I think are aliens (really, no cheese or yogurt, ever? A life without dairy? Madness. ) I’m off track, I’ve digressed … or as one my good friends would say, “the cheese is falling off the cracker.” See why I love her?

It’s pretty easy to be veg these days, there are plenty of choices – I can even get a Big Mac without the Mac. I’m just sayin’ it’s no big deal. The only thing that still freaks me out is when animal and non-animal are served together on the same plate, or are handled by the same utensil, or worse, cooked in the same pan! Then I’m a little grossed out (in a non-judgmental way). When I first learned what the word Kosher meant – I was thrilled. All my needs wrapped up in a bow. Yes, I know it means so much more – and it’s not exactly what I’m talking about – but it’s close enough. Would I love my food to be cooked in an entirely separate kitchen, oh yeah. Will it happen – no. But when I say the word Kosher… it explains all my separate but equal needs.

So this weekend we went to see my husband’s cousin and his ridiculously gorgeous family. We met at a great hibachi place near their town. First I was distracted by the light and love that are these beauties….

Those lashes…that little nose and mouth. Come on.

My biological clock is literally winding itself up again as I hold her.

Have you ever??

Her very handsome, very funny older brother.

In this scene the hibachi madness had just started…

Below…. She’s thinking what I’m thinking,” Where’s the veggie hibachi grill?”

Where was I? Sorry. Now this was not my first hibachi experience. We go all the time. I knew when the gal came over to explain the menu that all foods would be living in sin together on the grill in front of us. I also knew that the dude cooking would be using one knife for it all (and telling bad jokes). So he went at it – cutting zucchini, cutting shrimp, cutting steak, cutting my desire to ever go to Japan…not really…ok …yes.

Look at all that inter-food group mingling going on.

I realize I’m not normal. I’m not doing this for religion or animal rights – I just missed the boat on eating any other way. I blame my mother.

But this post is not a complaint – it’s an explanation. No other food eating experience can ever illustrate my issues more than hibachi.

That said – what do I get at hibachi every time we go? SUSHI!

Ofcourse I’m sure the sushi guy uses the same knife too – but a girl’s gotta eat right?

Silly+Genius

My girl sent me this two years ago – I still crack up every time I see it.  Sigh.

It’s not that I don’t trust you…it’s just that I don’t trust you

Look at him.  Sweet, kind,polite, funny – and oh yeah, a liar.  Ok that’s too harsh.  He fibs. He bends truths. Not about big things – but that’s because he’s 8 and there are no big things to fib about ( like money or drugs or honor or something). His talent is half-hearted truths. He’s like a good defense attorney, finding an escape clause in every rule.

To combat this talent/dark passenger (for all you Dexter fans) – we rely on one simple truth, we require proof.  You cleaned your room – let me see.  You washed your hair – let me smell you.  You get the point.

One day, hopefully in the near future, I won’t have to do Columbo mothering. Until then, he’ll be treated like the delinquent he has the full-blown potential to be.

Cookbook Obsession

I love cookbooks, I read them like novels.  Sometimes I even cook from them.  Here’s a few of my favorites.

Just thought you should know.

Everybody Loves an Addiction….

And this is mine.  Everybody Loves Raymond … Oh yes, I watch tons of current TV.  All the Housewives of the US – and some of Vancouver.  I watch what I think are smarter shows, like Breaking Bad, Dexter, and Downton Abbey.  Then again I also watch things about tiny beauty contestants, people buying flats in Barcelona and literally anything on The Food Network.  But this silly, corny, staged show makes me very happy.  I literally feel like I’m in my pajamas, tucked into bed when I watch it – even if I’m not.  My husband calls it my comfort blanket.  He’s right. Plus, it’s on all the time – everywhere!  I’m trying to wean off of it.  I try and rotate in 30 Rock and The Big Bang Theory, but it’s a process.

Don’t judge me, ok, judge me.

We’re gonna need a bigger boat, or a better vacation

I’m not the only freak in my marriage.  Here’s proof.  Last year, my kids and I got bamboozled into what we thought was a vacation on Martha’s Vineyard.  It was actually the Jaws“ tour.

Brody’s house? Saw it.  The beach that the Kinter boy’s raft washed up on?  Went there.  The docks where Quint took the Orca out to kill the fish with Brody and Hooper?  Spent an afternoon there.  Oh well – my kids will need something to tell their future therapist, this is good enough.

Why should we have to suffer alone….below are a few of the stops on the tour.

   happy naive family gets off the ferry expecting vacation

 the aforementioned docks…

. Town Hall where Brody fought to shut the beach down    Something happened here, but I can’t remember

Cast/crew stayed here during filming (yep, stayed there)

  Jaws bridge – spot where the shark went from the ocean to the bay (or something).  Apparently everyone jumps off it. That’s my girl jumping off – squeezing in some fun.

Let me know if you’d like to go, I’ve got a very willing guide.

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