S&M Skin Care

Exfoliating is life. We’ll, family is life – but for me, exfoliating comes close. I’m a pretty disloyal product person. I find something good, I fall in love, then there’s a general malaise where we drift apart – and then in the words of Jay-Z, I’m on to the next one. I cannot sustain a meaningful relationship with my beauty products. I’m not like that with make-up, I’ve committed to the same bronzer/blush for over 8 years now. It’s the one for me.

I know I’ve told you before, but I like a rough cleanser. I like a rough facial. I love me some chemical peeling action. If layers of skin could fall of by using this product, it’s the one for me. Ironically I don’t like a rough massage. The kind you have to medicate to recover from, I also don’t like rough-housing. Please don’t tackle me, shove me, or push me. I wouldn’t enjoy that. When my husband and I had just started dating, he once threw me into a big pile of garbage in NYC and started laughing hysterically. There had been a blizzard so it looked like a mound of fresh, clean snow. But he knew what was under there. Garbage! I didn’t talk to him for a week. Now that I’m writing this I’m getting angry again. My point is – my skin is more laid back then me.
Last week I splurged and bought a pricier cleaner than I would normally. But I couldn’t help myself. The back of it said,” Caution, may cause skin to tingle and flush. Stop using if you have sensitive skin.” Shhhhh you had me at Caution.

Here’s the product – Kate Somerville’s Exfolikate. A harsh cleanser with a sense of humor. I tried it. I’m in love. For now.

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Picture Imperfect

We finally had another book club meeting tonight. It’s been a long, bookless summer. Because why would I read a book if I’m not getting credit for it? Duh.
We read Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson. If you read my post yesterday you’d know that I straight up crammed the book in about 24 hrs. I’m so happy I did. It was LOL funny. How can you not love a book that waxes poetic about taxidermy, miscarriages, and blogging. You don’t think they belong together, but they do. Did I mention that the author curses more than a truck driver? (And can we change that expression? I’ve never heard a truck driver swear. Maybe it should be “she swears more than the Kardashians).

Instead of meeting at a member’s house, we were invited to The Artist’s Cellar. You’ve seen these right? You wine, you paint, it’s all good.
We had a blast. Babes with Books (BWB) rocked it. Here’s me and the beautiful woman who created BWB (I think. I mean I KNOW she’s beautiful but I’m guessing about the other part). We took a selfie. It was her idea. Or mine.

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We had adorable instructors named Cayla, Cameo and Jessica and the place was awesome. Booze, loud gals and detailed instructions – what could go wrong?!

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Here’s my masterpiece in the making.

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As always with this group, we talked about the book…oh…for a hot second. And then we talked about psychics, grandkids, medication and other miscellaneous items of urgency. A good time was had by all.

Here’s the painting we were supposed to draw:

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Here’s what I drew:

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You don’t see four trees you say? That’s called creative license! It doesn’t have anything to do with four trees merging into two blobs that I had to make into trees. Stop judging me.
We had a blast.

And here’s some pictures I took while I should have been painting.

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BWB!!

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Cramming.

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I feel like I’m 16 again. Or 17. Maybe 19.

I have to read this book before 7pm tomorrow night. No, it’s not for a class I’m taking. There’s no exam or final that I need to prep for. Just a fun book club meeting. A meeting in a wine and paint shop.

So really, this book will be like, the 3rd thing we pay attention to. In my mind it’ll be Wine, Paint, Book. Or maybe Paint, Wine, Book. It totally won’t be Book, Paint, Wine – I know that much for sure! But I still want to read it. It’s about a saucy girl’s childhood and it’s full of bad words and bad deeds. Aren’t you jealous of my book club. My book club is better than your book club.

So it’s not really like college. Or like being 16, 17, or 19 – since I didn’t have wine until I turned 30…ahem.

All my free time before and after work will go to this book. As soon as I’m done with this blog. And except the time I’ll spend watching my recorded shoes. And then ofcourse I need to go to bed by 10. But other than that – I’m all over this book.

Instagram insomnia

It’s 10:38pm. I have to wake up and go to work in about a minute. I should be tucked in and sleeping, deep in my REM cycle. But I’m wide awake, going into the rabbit hole known as Instagram. It’s evil. It’s wonderful. It compares only to the black hole of time known as Pinterest.
Lately I’m knee deep in NatGeo on Instagram. You know those annoying magazines that were all over your elementary school library? Turns out – it was full of the coolest stuff ever, photographed by even cooler people. Who knew?
Here’s a blue whale in Hawaii with a local diver, the Grand Tetons in their glory, a stare down by a young bear on the Denali mountains, a sea walrus tribe waiting for a baby to be born, a turtle in French Polynesia and an original point of view of the Pope. Take that People Magazine!
Ok. I need to go to bed. Right after I look at 1,000 more photos. All photo cred goes to the gods at Nat Geo.

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This land is your land…

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Sometimes happiness is a giant pinecone.
Let me explain.
We went to a local flea market today and I came home with three of these beauties. I am told that they are from the Redwood Forest. Just saying Redwood Forest makes me want to break out in song. Thanks for nothin’ Woody Guthrie. So how do I know they are really from CA? That they are real? I don’t know. Maybe they are real.
Maybe.
Or maybe they are from China. Or from Pottery Barn.
I dunno. Truthfully I don’t care. I like them. They make me happy. Look at the cute little East Coast pinecone next to it. A midget compared to it’s West Coast – pumped up cousin.
Hope you had a great weekend full of giant pinecones too.

Lotions and Potions/2014

I know I haven’t done a product post in a bit but wanted to share what I’m into lately. I’m a coconut freak – always have been. I love to eat it, drink it, smell it, you get the point. I’m the Bubba Gump of coconut.  It started when my mother used to slather my hair in coconut oil when I was little. It’s all the rage now, but back in the 80’s in Harrisaburg, PA, I was a freak show. She only made me do it at night and would let me wash it out in the morning, but it still felt strange. Back then all things from the East were foreign. Chicken Tikka Masala wasn’t the National Dish of England and Mindy Kaling wasn’t on TV making Indian girls look funny and cool. We were on our own.

Now I think my mother was a revolutionary. Did she know then that she was paving the way for stylists everywhere? I don’t think so. There’s a ton of cool things you can do with coconut oil. I hear people are even swishing it in their mouths to get all the bad juju out. I’m not so sure about all that. I do think it makes a really great skin/hair softener. And I’m obsessed with it as a make-up remover.

A few months ago my girl asked me to buy a jar of pure coconut oil. She had heard it was good for your hair (yep) and she wanted to try and use it to take off her waterproof mascara. It worked so well, she was hooked. Then I started sneaking it from her bathroom too. I use it every night to “take off my face”. I love that saying. It makes me feel chic. As if I’m a 50s starlet unveiling her night-time routine. One of my favorite scenes in a movie is Fay Dunaway taking off her make-up and cleaning her face in Mother Dearest. I know the movie wasn’t about make-up removal rituals, but this is what I remember people. This is also why I can’t write movie reviews. My focus is off.

Coconut Oil! Try it. Just remember, it’s oily. Didn’t want you to be surprised. It also works on dry heels. Just put a towel under your feel after applying so you don’t ruin your fancy sheets.

Next obsession of late: Roc everything. But especially Roc Multi-correction creme. I’ve been using this stuff under my eyes and on my lids (which is what it’s meant for) and around my mouth because I have skin discoloration there (which it’s not meant for but it works so why not. I may grow an extra limb later, but dems the brakes).

Here’s visuals of what I’m using. Any brand oil will do as long as it’s “pure”. I liked this one because it was the only one in the supermarket the day I was trying to buy it for her. It was either this or go to another store. I decided right there and then that this was one of the best coconut oils on the market!

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Worst. Soup. Ever

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I should have known by the name – All Bean. Like they needed to get rid of all their beans but none were good enough for one type of soup. They dumped all of them into a Vitamix and served it up. It should have read – All Bean No Flavor.
I usually have such great luck with soup at work. Really. They do a good job. Which is why I always buy a big bowl. It’s filling. It’s usually full of veggies. It’s usually awesome.
You see all the black specs? That’s 9 packets of pepper. 9! And I won’t even tell you the amount or salt I added. No dice. Still no flavor. The soup sucked.
As you can tell, I ate most of it anyway. I’m picky like that.
As I tell my kids, no big deal. It’s not my last meal. I’ll eat again in a couple of hours. I just thought you should know.
#firstworldproblems

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