In Defense of Gwyneth Paltrow
10 May 2013 Leave a Comment
in I need to tell you about this right now Tags: Celebrity, Entertainment, Hollywood, humor, Life, Movies, opinion, Stars, Writing
She’s been getting a lot of flack lately. First her lifestyle website, GOOP, listed her top spring must haves. A list that totaled up to well over $100,000. Then she was named People magazine’s most beautiful woman. This past week she showed up wearing a see-through side-paneled dress that showed all of her assets.
In the past she’s even been quoted saying things like,” I can’t pretend I make $25,000 a year because I don’t”.
She works out for 4 hours a day dancing around to Tracey Anderson – and now they’ve opened torture excercise schools all over the world. So we can all have tight, toned, dancer’s bodies. Ummm. Sure.
She named her kids Apple and Moses.
I get why she has haters.
But I have a soft spot for her.
I love all her horrible movies. I love all her great movies. Sliding Doors, Se7en, Shakespeare In Love, Sylvia – loved them all.
I loved her on Oprah talking about her perfect macrobiotic life and “mysterious” marriage to Chris Martin.
She’s absolutely ridiculous and out of touch. I know we could be besties. I really do.
There’s a ton of people who deserve haters; Kim Jong-un, Kim Kardashian, Mark Sanford – you get the point.
But why do people hate GP so much (that’s what dedicated readers to GOOP call her, fyi)? Speaking of GOOP, her website, they’ve added a new feature. Every month they highlight a different, esoteric, completely-out-of-touch-with-the-majority-of-the-world company. This month it’s Foundwell. If your only worry is how to stock a vintage bar – and money is no object – it’s for you. And although money is a huge, massive object for me, it’s for me too. Because that kind of flight of fancy doesn’t bother me. It makes me insanely curious. I dream about the people who really do go on the site and see the $950 sterling silver shot cup and say, “finally, I’ve found it”.
So give her a break will ya. She ain’t so bad. She can’t help her rich, untouchable life. She was just born that way.
Vase Half Empty
09 May 2013 6 Comments
in I need to tell you about this right now Tags: Alcohol, collection, Hobby, humor, Life, Photography, Wine
Did I mention I like wine?
A few years ago this was a regular sized vase that sat on my kitchen counter.
Then it…evolved.
Now it’s art. Yup. Art.
Not a raging addiction. Nope. It’s not that at all.
This past weekend when we had our friends and family over, someone casually asked if I’d gotten the corks at Home Goods. They sell them you know. Huh.
Did not know that.
I laughed nervously and redirected the conversation.
Another party goer suggested a craft I could do with them.
I laughed nervously and redirected the conversation.
I get a lot of slack for this…collection.
Every Easter there’s an aunt that includes it in her prayers, as in, “please God don’t let it fill up anymore.”
Whatever.
The way I look at it, it’s only half full.
I’m a wine optimist.
Shut-up.
Wednesday Survival Kit
08 May 2013 2 Comments
in I need to tell you about this right now Tags: Coffee, food, humor, Life, Photography
Take one part this….
Add this…
Repeat 4 or 5 or 10 times.
You’re welcome.
Blog Vent
25 Apr 2013 2 Comments
in I need to tell you about this right now Tags: Aries, Astrology, celebrities, Entertainment, Family, Gemini, humor, Life, Mars, Psychology, Religion, Schedule, work
Today was a Day.
Ever had one of those?
And almost every agitating thing that happened was my fault.
Not one other person to blame. Trust me, I tried to find someone, anyone. Nothing. It’s all me.
I hate that.
My girlfriend said that Mars is in Aries. And I’m a Gemini. So I’m dysfunctional on a good day. Throw in Aries and it’s a hurricane. So why does Mars making a pit stop in Aries cause such havoc? Because it means we’re much more likely to take risks. Live without guard rails. In general be a little nutty and go off the deep end.
Well people. I’m off the deep end. Can I blame Mars? Or Aries? Or Kit Kat? Sorry.
I’ll spare you the gory details. I didn’t kill anyone and I’m not selling crack to babies. But boy were there doozies today! F’ups. Miscalculations. Gaps in judgement. Ok, massive craters in judgement.
Sorry to be so pissy. Please go read a trashy online magazine to shake this blog off. Or don’t. Who am I to give any advice today. Good night.
(i was going to find a YouTube video to end the post on a positive - the one with the dancing babies for Evian – have you seen it? I’m not an Evian fan – I think it’s oily and has an aftertaste – but the commercial is funny. Anyway I decided not to find/cut/attach the clip. See. I’m a nightmare today.)
you can’t always get what you want
24 Apr 2013 4 Comments
in I need to tell you about this right now Tags: Alergy, Bike Riding, children, Creek, Family, freedom and independence, health, humor, Kids, Life, mental-health, parenting, Park, Photography, Picnic, transportation, Water
This is a state park near us. We go to walk, to picnic, to lay about – actually that’s what I go for.
My family goes there to bike.
I think I’ve told you before. Haven’t I? It’s no biggie. Everyone has something. Some people can’t eat a peanut. Some can’t have dairy (the horror). Some are diabetic. I too have a debilitating challenge. I can’t ride a bike. Well, technically I may be able to actually ride a bike without killing myself, but I really really don’t want to.
My family tried to have an intervention a couple of years ago. They were horrified for me. My husband lived on his bike throughout his childhood. Both my kids adore their bikes. They gave me a long list of reasons why I’d love it. The freedom! The independence! So I finally caved in and they bought me a fancy bike. Took me out every night to practice. And I tried. I acted excited. I seemed enthused. It was awful.
I don’t like riding a bike. It makes me nervous. It makes me feel out of control. It gives me zero happiness. Freedom and independence are not for me. Sorry.
This causes great sadness in my family. I’m like a traitor among them. An alien. They’ll never be able to ride like a full family.
They’ll get over it.
Gladiator in a Suit
13 Apr 2013 4 Comments
in I need to tell you about this right now Tags: ABC, Addiction, Affair, celebrities, DC, Entertainment, humor, Obsession, President, Scandal, Series, tv
Hi. My name is wifemothereventplanner. And it’s been 7 days since I’ve written a post.
I’ve been distracted. Diverted. Absorbed. Engrossed.
Every minute that I’m not working or mothering or wife’ing has gone to one thing. One singular obsession (different from all my other obsessions).
SCANDAL.
I blame Netflix. I blame my sister-in-law and all my gal pals for pushing the show like crack. I blame all the articles I’ve been trying to ignore about how great the show is. I thought I could ignore it. After all – I’m the only girl in the Northern Hemisphere who still hasn’t watched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. My idea of McDreamy is Don Draper or Walter White (name those shows).
A few weeks ago I found myself with an entire Sunday afternoon with nothing to clean, cook or buy and in a half trance I did it. I started the series. Episode after episode, I binged. Hard.
Ok. Everyone was right. It’s delicious. Just enough story line to keep up with the bedroom shots. It’s really fun. All the women on the show are written quirky and smart and perfectly balanced between batshit crazy and funny – just how I like it. A powerful black woman sleeping with the President while legally and illegally protecting her client’s reputations? Sign me up.
Watching a whole series at once is something I usually do with my husband – but I convinced him that this show wouldn’t be his thing. He should just leave me alone to watch the whole thing. Now.
I’m all caught up on Season 1 but it isn’t enough. I may have to buy Season 2, even though it’ll eventually air for free – but that would mean waiting. WAITING. Seriously? That’s for the birds. I need my fix now.
Like any good junkie, I’ll keep trying to act normal and pretend I’m not thinking about Olivia Pope or the hot President or how wickedly good the First Lady is. I’ll just go on with my day. Like a normal person. Nothing to see here folks. Just killing time until my next hit.
Monumental
04 Apr 2013 Leave a Comment
in I need to tell you about this right now Tags: Cars, DC, Easter, Holiday, humor, Life, Monument, Museums, Photography, Smithsonian, Traffic, travel, Trip, Vacation, Washington DC
We took a quick trip to DC after Easter – literally. As in we cleaned up, packed leftovers, said goodbye to our family and hit the road.
My husband and I have both been to DC often, but just for work. From train to conference room to train. This was an all out tourist trip.
We landed in the capital at the stroke of 11pm. After miles and miles and miles of traffic, here’s what we saw heading into our hotel. Pretty friggin cool.
For the next two days we traveled by trolley, monument to monument, museum to museum.
It was cherry blossom festival time but a late snow meant no blooming trees (actually there were a couple but we couldn’t see them with all the Japanese tourists surrounding them. True story).
This is Julia Child’s kitchen. Recreated spoon by spoon at the Smithsonian. This was my favorite monument in all of DC. Cluttered. Utilitarian. Completely unMartha. It was awesome.
Thanks Easter bunny.
Easter Mash Up
30 Mar 2013 Leave a Comment
in I need to tell you about this right now Tags: Easter, Family, food, Holiday, humor, Photography, Polish, Ukrainian
This is Pulaski’s meat market. Every year I trek there for kielbasa, ham, pierogies, etc. for our mix and match Easter. North American Catholic traditions, check! Eastern European homage to pork, check!
I wait my turn with old school Polish, Ukrainian, Czech couples. One of these things is not like the other. And that thing is me people.
I get my number and start the wait. I’m #93. They are on #18.
No, you can’t wander about the market while your number is called. There’s no side shopping while you wait. This is like the soup nazi for meat. Wait your turn. Know what you want. Do not hesitate.
But I’m not scared. This isn’t my first polka. I may look completely and utterly out of place. But I know exactly what to order.
2 1/2 hours later. Success.
It’s not Easter until my Subaru smells like kielbasa.
