13 Mar 2013
by wifemothereventplanner
in Brave New World
Tags: Baby, Brothers, Family, humor, Kids, Life, Only child, parenting, Photography, Siblings, Sisters
These two monkeys live in my house and yell and fight and laugh all day long.
They’ve been at it since she was 5 and he was born.
They are 5 years apart. Two little Scorpios.
She was going to be an only child – imagine that! But then we came to our senses and added the ying to her yang.
They are so different. And so alike. They write each other letters of love and devotion – and then sell each other out at the drop of a hat.
She’s his best friend – says him.
He’s her best friend – says him.
When they tell each other secrets they make a “world” promise. The biggest, most powerful kind of promise. A promise that, if broken, can have dire circumstances. These usually involve hidden candy in their rooms, newly learned bad words or inappropriate videos on YouTube. The usual world promise stuff.
Last night I was writing another blog post and my girl asked what the topic was. When I told her what I was writing about she said,”oh. you should write about me and Jack.” So there you go.
05 Mar 2013
by wifemothereventplanner
in Brave New World
Tags: America, Asia, Beach, Europe, Family, Hawaii, Holiday, Hotels, humor, Kids, Life, Peru, Pool, transportation, travel, Tropics, Vacation
I have a problem.
A Tripadvisor problem.
It happens every year.
At about this time, my mind and body starts craving/dreaming/needing a vacation. Somewhere different. Preferably to a place where trains are called metros and where you can stay in a flat instead of an apartment. Or maybe a tropical turquoise retreat where I can drink from a coconut and lay on beach.
A place where I can be Vacation Mom and Vacation Wife. The one that doesn’t worry and nag and yell and order. The one that lets you buy obscenely pricey gum from the gift shop and stay up until you feel like falling asleep. The one that doesn’t care if anyone has brushed their teeth or combed their hair. She’s awesome. I miss her.
But in order to transform into this groovy, go-with-the-flow chick we need to get the hell out of dodge first.
And in order to do that we need to find a place to go.
And every time we find a place I am compelled to that damn website to check out the reviews.
It never ends well for me.
Everyone has an opinion, and I read every last one.
MaryS from Wichita thinks the rooms at a certain resort in Puerto Rico aren’t clean enough.
George from New Jersey didn’t like any of the restaurants but loved the pool at his hotel in Hawaii.
clevergirl8 from Texas loved Peru but had a horrible time with customs at the airport.
I try to focus on just the positive. You can’t make everyone happy, I say to myself.
But then I toss and turn and doubt. And doubt.
Are people just really really picky?
I realize that I could never have been one of those people backpacking through Europe or Asia or Idaho. I need research. Data. Background. I need to know that others have gone before me and had a good time. Or not.
So we’ll make our plans for vacation and it’ll be very exciting, but deep down I’ll be thinking about MikeP from Albany, who thought Dublin was beautiful except for the hotel concierge who was a bit grumpy the whole time.
I give Tripadvisor.com 3 out of 5 stars. Lots of consumer information which usually results in the firm knowledge that no matter where you are going or what you are doing – it could have been better somewhere else.
22 Feb 2013
by wifemothereventplanner
in Brave New World
Tags: Age, Bonnaroo, Crowds, Fesitval, humor, Life, love, Music, Nursing Home, Old, South, TN
Here’s the cycle of events that went down last night that forced me to confront my impending fall right into a nursing home. And how I’m actually looking forward to it.
- My daughter records a show call Tosh.O – which is highly inappropriate but highly hilarious. After I’ve caught up on all my cooking shows, I sometimes(always) watch it.
- During one of the commercials (sometimes I forget I’m watching a recorded show and can fast forward) Tosh announced the line-up for Bonnaroo.
- Bonnaroo is a cool, outdoor music festival in Tennessee. My sister and her man went, camped and loved it. She told me all about it. That’s how I know.
- Anyhoo. Tosh announced the line-up. Paul McCartney. Tom Petty. Wilco. Wu-tang Clan.
- 3 days of music, fun and revelry. I decided we were totally going.
- After the show ended I immediately went online to get tickets, look up details etc. Maybe I’d surprise my hubby with the whole thing all planned out. A cool off-the-cuff weekend for just the two of us!
- The website offers a lot of info. It’s very tongue-in-cheek. Lots of cute jokes sprinkled in with the directions and stuff.
- Then I read that the festival is on a farm, on rolling hills. Most people camp there – which I didn’t want to do. So I googled hotels/motels in the area. Maybe a nice bed and breakfast, I thought. I did find a Days Inn about 30 miles away.
- Then I read the “safety” section of the website. Heat exhaustion is a rampant problem. “Communal” was a word used often and generously, as in, whatever you bring to the festival is communal and you should share and share alike. hmmmm.
- Then I read a section called “traffic” about the miles and miles and miles of jammed cars leading up the festival.
- I decided to leave that site and go to the travel site for the town. Surely we could have a nice stay there and enjoy the festival by day no?
- No. It’s too far and too complicated to leave the festival and come back. According to all the chatter on the web anyway. And there’s a lot of chatter.
- And then there was the weather. Last year, around that time, it was about 101 degrees. No joke.
- Heat. Crowds. Traffic. “Communal”. Ok then. I’m out.
- I went through a few minutes of mourning. Was I so rigid? Couldn’t I have a good time? Crowds aren’t just for mobs – they could be fun. So it’s warm. So what. So what?? So EVERYTHING. Was I nuts. Not one thing about that time sounded good. I shut the computer off in disgust.
- I was so mad at myself for even considering it. I’m a granny. I’ve been a granny since I was 22.
- When my husband came home I told him about my tortured plan and took him step by step through my thinking. About me grappling with trying to make this plan work, and then finally, realizing it wasn’t for us. I was hoping he’d say something like,”let’s make it work! It’s worth it for the music!”.
- He actually said,”I’d sweat the whole time. And I hate people.”
Atleast I won’t be alone in the nursing home.
21 Feb 2013
by wifemothereventplanner
in Brave New World
Tags: children, Death, drama, Family, humor, Life, love, marriage, Relationship, tv
For all of those folks who haven’t caught up on this season’s episodes of Downton Abbey, please stop reading and go enjoy your short-lived happiness with the show. What I mean is…SPOILER ALERT. Meh.
Sorry, I’m pissed. I know it’s an English melodrama. I know it’s not real. But really? Really?
Must I be raked over the emotional coals on each character? The maid who has to give away her little Charlie…Edith and her endless basket of bad luck…and Cybil. Oh lord do not even get me started on Cybil. 2 doctors in a room and she still dies while they look at each other by the fire. Even Thomas and his tortured, closeted life makes me sad.
And then last week they kill Matthew. No. Wait. They kill Matthew after he and Mary joyfully welcome a son. After Mary tells him over and over again that he is the only person who knows her. AFTER a speech from the Earl of Grantham about happiness finally coming to the abbey. I know, I know. Contracts expire. Actors have to move on. Couldn’t they have done a switcheroo a la Darren on Bewitched? Or the older sister from Rosanne?
It’s really bad when you are praying for more time spent on O’Brien just to avoid the sadness.
I know I still have Bates and Anna. And maybe Mrs. Patmore will get lucky soon.
Sigh.
10 Feb 2013
Last summer we spent a day at this lake, sitting, eating, playing all sorts of catch, reading gossip magazines, taking random photos, trying to guess what that building in the distance was, spraying on buckets of sunscreen and bug spray. It was 90 something degrees and humid. At one point my husband took the kids for a walk around the lake and I didn’t go. I kept our cooler company and stayed put. I remember thinking about nothing, staring at the clouds and zoning out. I’d like to zone out for a living. I could be the VP of zoning out. I could project manage the shit out of zoning out. Hi. I’m the head of the zoning out group. How can I do absolutely nothing for you? sigh.
Image
by wifemothereventplanner
31 Jan 2013
by wifemothereventplanner
in Brave New World
Tags: Cable Guy, Door, House, humor, Life, Sales, tv, Verizon, Xfinity
I’m so tired.
Wanna know how tired I am?
10 minutes ago an Xfinity sales person came a knockin’ on our door.
Before I even had the thing opened all the way he started talking.
Did I know my neighbor just saved thousands of dollars – no millions of dollars. Don’t I like to save money? What’s my package like? Doesn’t my family deserve more? Aren’t I a good person? What’s my favorite thing to do – watch TV right? (that freaked me out. how did he know?)
We had Wizard of Oz type of wind last night and most of today, and now the temperatures have dropped. It’s like 4 degrees out there. Or less. It’s frigid.
And I’m barefoot. I’ve opened the door to this fast talking man who is completely dressed for the weather. Xfinity must treat him right. Parka. Scarf. Gloves. The whole deal.
So I try to be polite and say,”oh…no thank you. We’re good.” And he keeps talking. “We aren’t going to switch”, I say. He’s talking even faster now. “You must be freezing, you should go back to your car”, I say. No dice.
I had no choice. I had to just start shutting the door. As I was closing it in his face, I warmly said,”I’m so sorry, thanks so much, have a good night, love you”.
“love you”.
Sigh.
It’s time for bed.
24 Jan 2013
by wifemothereventplanner
in Brave New World
Tags: animals, Blog, Books, Cats, comedy, Entertainment, humor, Life, Nature, Photography, Writing
I asked my boy last night what I should write about on my blog
since I’ve promised to not slack off so much.
He said,”you should always write about Lexi.”
Then he spent the next 10 minutes going through all her amazing qualities:
She’s beautiful. She’s clean. She’s purrrrry. She’s his. Blah Blah Blah.
I asked him to go take a picture of his perfect cat.
And he did. And the picture is perfect too.
Now I’m annoyed.
And jealous. I think/know/am sure that he may love her more than me.
Look at her smug face. She knows it too.
And she’s accomplished something I thought could never happen.
I’ve written a cat post.
Send help.
23 Jan 2013
by wifemothereventplanner
in Brave New World
Tags: 80's, fashion, Hair, High School, humor, Movies, Music, Photography, tv
It was the 80′s.
That’s my defense. I was so young, I didn’t know better. All the popular kids were doing it. I was lured into it.
And by the way – where were all the parental figures in my life that could have saved me from this fate? Turns out, they were right next to me doing the same thing. Oh well. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger – that’s what Kelly Clarkson told me. Anyway, it’s time to come clean now. To open up all my cobwebbed secrets and get them out of my head – or off my head. It’s time you all know about my deepest, darkest time. Although back then I thought I was happy. I thought I was rockin’ life. I thought I was cool. Sigh. Don’t judge me, just learn from me. I was addicted to my…
PERM.
Not a long, flowing ringlets perm. This was a short, tight, helmut head perm. And I loved it. I was 10 and delusional.
With all this Michelle Obama bang talk I started thinking about my hair through the years. I rocked my hair styles yo. Sadly, some of the those styles were hideous and scary in hindsight. But that’s normal right? Right?
Listen, I had dark black hair. I couldn’t bleach it or lemon it or turn it funky colors like my blond haired pals (I’m talking to you Kelly Jensen), the most drastic thing I could do was curl it. And boy did I.
Because I’ve been absent from writing for a bit I feel like I owe you all. Big time.
To you from me PinkyLee (any Grease fans out there?). I added a recent picture of myself so you see that bad 80′s perms really do grow out and because I do not want that picture to be your lasting impression of me. Although it’ll take a while to shake the image from your mind’s eye. Trust me.
Sorry the old photo is a mess, I had to dig it out of my drawer of shame.
Phew. Now I feel better. Now we are even. All debts are paid. In full.
11 Jan 2013
by wifemothereventplanner
in Brave New World
Tags: Flu, humor, Illness, Life, Map, Movies, Photography, Sick, USA
Do you know what this map is? All red and pink and orange and scary? It’s the flu epidemic spreading across the country. I feel my throat closing up as I look at it. Lock up your kids! Don’t open your doors! Wash your hands with bleach! Just kidding. Don’t do that. Last night I went to CVS and there was a line out the door for flu shots. I was there for printer paper. Have you had your shot? Are you prepared for flu-mageddon? Did you buy stock in Purell? I don’t mean to make light of a very serious issue but I feel like we are being worked into a frenzy. Listen, I’ve seen my fair share of killer disease movies – the classic Outbreak with Dustin Hoffman and the monkey, Contagion with Gwyneth looking uber chic as she spread a virus across Asia- I know when I should be freaking out. Once I see military tanks roaming the streets to keep order and Will Smith in town, I’ll panic.
By the way, from the look of the map, we all need to move to Idaho, Delaware or Maryland.
01 Jan 2013
by wifemothereventplanner
in Brave New World
Tags: Champagne, community, creativity, Eiffel Tower, facebook, Family, food, football, High School, humor, Literature, New Year, News, Paris, Party, Photography, Resolutions, School, Shrimp, Sports, World, Writing
It’s been a year hasn’t it? I won’t go into a list of resolutions (because I don’t have any) or tell you about the happy, tragic, ridiculous things that have happened in the world this year. You can google those. But personally, for me and my fam, this year has been full of change. We leapt into high school, turned 40, let a teenager join Facebook, agreed to let a 9 year play football, saw the Eiffel tower, mended some broken fences (literally and figuratively), discovered gel manicures, skipped Fall Ball and did not feel guilty about it, and oh yeah – started a blog.
I needed a hobby, something besides eating. Last year, around this time, I started thinking about WMEP. In all honesty, I started the blog to write about event planning. After all, it’s what I do, it’s what I love. But then I began thinking about blog titles – and defining myself as just a planner didn’t fit. Something was off. I read a few blogs on how to start blogs. Then, like the true spaz that I am, I read blogs on how to blog successfully. What kind of blog did I want to be? Funny? Informative? Personal? Lots of pressure. I didn’t tell anyone about it at first, but eventually I owned up to my husband. I told him that in order to make it interesting – I may have to put some personal family stuff out into the universe. With photos. Because I’m convinced people need a visual. Or is that just me? He told me to go for it (with a few caveats). And so I did. It took me a few months to get my act together, to get back to writing, to do something that was literally just for me. And I loved it. I love it.
In the beginning I wrote every day – or tried to. It’s been harder the last few months, work and stress and life seem to be taking up all my time. But it’s the start of a new year, I’ve been writing since last April. 178 posts. Over 16,000 views. Almost a 1,000 comments. I’m hooked!
So maybe I will make a resolution for 2013. I resolve to blog every day. Or at least every other day. Every week at the latest.
I resolve to write something in 2013 at some time.
See how tough I am?
We toasted the New Year in last night with shrimp and champagne. Hope you were toasted too.
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